Q: So if you've got all three of those corners covered, how do you get out alive, without anybody getting hurt?
A: Michael Scott.
Alone, Jim watches Michael's horrendously racist and upsetting "Ping" impression, about which...the internet is strangely silent. To the internet's credit, to be sure. I'm going to the Breakfast At Tiffany's place, which is my wont, but that's Mr. Yunioshi, and the only thing you get by Googling "horrible racist Ping character" is Seinfeld, and I don't remember the character in question, so that's all I got. False teeth, squinty thick glasses, the whole bit. If you recognize it, your grandparents are probably horrible people. And I'm sorry about that.
Pam comes back in and sits next to the pleasantly surprised Jim, offering only that she "decided" to stay, and will just get a ride from Angela. While Jim glances over at Angela, Pam snakes his beer. (Chili's didn't wanna be seen overserving, so they wrote this in, which is just adorable, because...what's the point of Chili's, again? Whatever, she's going to be stealing drinks for the remainder of The Dundies, which is also fairly adorable.) Jim catches her (and in this second, Michael's offscreen randomly suggesting to himself, still in stomach-turning racist mode, that he should call Jan), and shrugs sweetly. "Oh good," Pam smiles. "I'm just in time for Ping." Michael goes to the "me so horny" area and we zoom to an Asian customer in a booth behind the makeshift stage, staring in frank and horrified disbelief. Jim's somewhat taken aback as Pam orders another beer; but then so do I, so do you, so does the lady. Beers everywhere, just in time for Ping.
"You Sexy Thing" starts playing; an elaborate prank is played upon John K. in which a note ("Perhaps you'd join me for a night of romance? / A dinner, a movie...maybe a dance?") is passed to him, supposedly from one of the real-life waitstaff. (At presstime, more than eleven hundred parties were claiming responsibility for this dastardly act.) But this is not about John Krasinski, this is about Ryan the Temp, or per Michael, "Somebody who really lights up the office." As Pam continues to slug her beers, Michael continues digging that hole: "Somebody who I think a lot of us cannot keep from checking out. The âHottest in the Office' award goes to...Ryan the Temp!" Pam basically snorts in shock and the camera zooms in on Ryan, who seems to be hoping that his alarm clock will sound, or Freddy Krueger will show up, or something along those lines. Falkor; the trucks from Maximum Overdrive. He finally comes down onto the dance floor; everyone watches through their fingers. Michael sings along with the music: "Where you from? / You sexy thang / You sexy thang, you." As Pam laughs (still not a joyful laugh, not a Jim Laugh), Michael sings and teases Ryan with the trophy, pulling it just out of Ryan's reach. Finally, the kid snatches it and beats a hasty retreat -- but not before Michael fully slaps him on the ass. (He also goes "Wooo!")