The Office
The Farm

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | 2 USERS: B+
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Up in the bullpen, Pam is congratulating everyone on their willpower, only to see that they've all tucked in. "Oh my God, I forgive him so much," Andy says, transported by the deliciousness of his cupcake. Kevin just about chokes on his, loudly, rejecting all offers of help and finally going limp, saying, "Oh, that was fantastic." Man, I didn't need to see that.

Dwight and his young nephew go out to the chicken barn after dark to collect eggs. It's almost touching. Dwight then ties a goat to a milking frame, (though the boy mistakes them for a guillotine and a cow, respectively), then starts milking. He gives the kid a chance but soon takes over again because "you suck at this." Dwight wonders if his father ever taught him anything. "I never met him," the kid says. And we all know about the father-hole that's been in Dwight's heart all season. I actually didn't mean that to come out so gross.

Pam shows up at the office the next morning (working Saturday and Sunday now?), fresh and perky and announcing that after much consideration and discussion, she's decided to eat her cupcake, which was still in her drawer. She's failed to notice that everyone in the bullpen is miserable. I don't think anybody would have objected to their calling in sick over the weekend. "Packer laced the cupcakes," Clark moans. Phyllis explains her doll-fest that lead to her spending thousands on American Girl outfits online. Nellie and Stanley both clogged the toiled (Stanley four times), and Clark says he went Christmas caroling and peed in some bushes, so it wasn't his best night... but also not his worst. Andy and Kevin just exchange a horrified look and there's a washed-out flashback to the two of them having a two-man party in the office the night before, which started with arm-wrestling and then crying in each other's arms and then exchanging clothes, as they slowly claim to have both had a normal night and not seen each other at all. Pam decides that Packer is the worst human ever -- like that's news -- and is about to throw her cupcake away, but Kevin takes it from her despite everything. "I understand, Pam," he says. "I understand." What I don't understand is how it never occurred to anyone that Packer wouldn't have drugged the cupcakes before now.

And in Philly, Packer gives Darryl and Jim their cupcakes in individual boxes. Jim offers his own apology, but Packer says he's over it, cutting a naughty look at the cameras.

Dwight is saying goodbye to Fanny, but when she witnesses the firm handshake that transpires between her brother and her son, she apparently changes her mind. Cut to the three Schrute siblings climbing a hill to look over the land, and Jeb says this is a far cry from a nine-acre worm farm. "Whoever's managing this thing is going to have a hell of a job," he says. "Not it." Fanny quickly echoes the sentiment. Dwight, firmly and proudly: "It." Walking back to the house, Dwight warns Fanny about her son, "If he doesn't put in some farm time he's going to stay like that." And that was the beginning and the end of The Farm. Man, did we dodge a bullet or what?

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The Office

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