The Office
The Office

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Miss Alli: A- | 1552 USERS: B-
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The Fight

Jim still wants to talk karate, so he asks Dwight whether, as sempai, he thinks humans and robots can peacefully coexist. Not really worrying about the fact that being sempai doesn't have any overt connection to robots and humans, Dwight says they can't. And then he pauses. "You're mocking me," he finally says. He offers Jim "some advice," which turns out to be, "I am not afraid to make an example out of you." Jim points out that this isn't advice. "What 'advice' sounds like is this," he says. "Never bring your purple belt to work, because someone might steal it." With this, he holds up Dwight's belt. "That is not a toy," Dwight says angrily. Jim makes him say "please" to get it back, and he adds, "And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato." After saying a cursory "arigato" (hey, you have to be civilized; what are you, a farmer?), Dwight insists that the belt is "a message," which tells everyone in the office that he can dominate them. And here, we see Dwight in the dojo, bashing the shit out of a dummy's face with the heel of his hand, so repeatedly and rhythmically that it's a little unsettling. Actually a lot unsettling.

In his office, Michael practices writing his name in different ways. No, really. Like on the back of a history notebook. One of the signatures, he says, represents "the duality of man." He certainly does know how to invite a "duality of my butt" joke. Pam knocks on the window and says maybe he could practice on the things he has to sign.

Jim quizzes Dwight about which specific asses, within the office, he could kick. "No women or children unless provoked," Dwight says. Could he beat down Roy? "Warehouse guy," Dwight says. "Doesn't count." Michael is passing, as it happens, so Jim asks if Dwight could beat Michael up. Michael says there's no way. "Because we're friends," Dwight clarifies deferentially. "Because I would kick his ass," Michael insists. "Well," Jim foments, "Dwight's a purple belt, so." Michael says he's beaten up black belts. And how did he know they were black belts? "Because they told me...after," he says. He adds that he used to run with "street fighters" and he's just lucky to have gotten out. I think he meant to say that he ran from street fighters.

Ryan asks Toby if his wife is still his emergency contact. Toby says she's his ex-wife, and she has a different last name, but yes, she's still the contact. Aw. He then tells Ryan he doesn't need to add "ex" in front of "wife." AW! Who would divorce Toby? All he wants is to avoid trouble.

The Office

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