Outside in the parking lot, Michael tells Ryan that another rule of business is that you must be prepared to adapt. To, I suppose, a parking lot. Just then, Dwight runs out to take a head count, finding Michael with Ryan just in time to count him as "one." Ryan needs a number, and when Ryan suggests "two," Dwight gives a panicked "NO!" You guys don't think Dwight wants to be "two," do you? Ryan is assigned the number fourteen. Unable to decide between the beating and the joining, Dwight eagerly says that he, Michael, and Ryan should be "the Three Musketeers." Michael says they can be the Three Stooges instead. Ryan looks stricken. I think he'd rather they were the Three Nonaffiliated Near-Strangers. Indeed, Ryan THs that he doesn't want to be "a guy here," with "a thing" like Stanley's puzzles or Angela's cats. Or an overinvested pink-bedecked girlfriend. Hypothetically.

Jim assumes his usual camp-counselor vibe, recently seen in "Office Olympics," and leads the bored staff in a few games -- he announces that they'll be playing Desert Island, Who Would You Do?, and, at Pam's suggestion, Would You Rather? (No "Marry, Fuck, Kill"? Jim, you disappoint me. "Packer, Michael, Dwight." That's a good round. I'm just saying.) Just then, a fire truck arrives, and Dwight pumps his fist in excitement. He tries to stop the firemen on their way in to give them "some theories," but they blow right by him. They must not have heard him through their helmets.

So, Desert Island -- name the three books you would take to a desert island. Angela takes the Bible and A Purpose-Driven Life, but then she declines to name any more. It's hard to find something without whores, I suppose. Phyllis takes The DaVinci Code, and Angela says she'd actually take that, too -- to burn it. Dwight asks Jim whether there's firewood on the island. Jim says there is. In that case, Dwight says, he'd take an axe -- no books. Jim says only books are allowed. Dwight decides to take a Physician's Desk Reference -- hollowed out, full of matches and iodine tablets. And beet seeds and NASA blankets. And protein bars. You've got to admit he's thinking outside the box. He'd also take some Harry Potter.