The Office
The Incentive

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Cracking Up

Justine shows up when Kevin's using the fax machine at Reception in Erin's absence, causing him to get completely flustered until he panics and yells, "Darryl! A girl!" Darryl happily comes out and introduces Justine to "Jim.. Oscar... Everyone." Justine wants to go someplace private, so he takes her into his office and closes the blinds. That should cover it.

Andy finds Dwight in the kitchen mixing up brownies and acting like he doesn't care about profits. Andy makes small talk about the beet farm, which is just cover for fishing for ideas on doubling sales, until Dwight snaps, "You wanted the job, the job is yours, just do the job!" Then he pulls it together and says he'll do his, dumping walnuts into the mix. Kevin, through the window: "Noooo!"

Angela dumps a copy of Parenting magazine on Pam's desk. Pam and Jim tell Angela how much Cece loves it because of the pictures of babies, but Angela's point is that there's an article about how pregnant women should take walks frequently. So Angela is inviting Pam along on her morning and afternoon walks. "That sounds nice," Pam lies.

Andy has called a meeting, and unveils a table of random crap that he calls "incentives." Before he can explain how it works, Pam guesses that they earn points and redeem them for prizes. And earns a point in the process. But Ryan earns 20 when he asks, "Is that a vibrator?" "How does one get a point?" Meredith is quick to ask. Andy says to check their spam folders for the rules and regs. "Why is it all kids' stuff and a vibrator?" Kelly asks. Andy tries to show off some of the other items, and when Stanley suggests just paying them more, he says he can't. Kelly says the point system is insulting. "I hope you'll forgive me, because I am very, very sari, sixteen points," Andy smirks, draping a yellow tablecloth over his shoulder. Jim asks what they could get for, say, 500 points. Andy says that's so impossible that he'll wear a dress to the office, and for a thousand, "I'll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong." And for five thousand, he'll let them put a tattoo of their choice on his ass. Which of course he knows will never happen, until Jim reminds everyone, "You did say we could pool our points, right? So... let's get to work, guys." Well, now they look inspired, at least.

The office is buzzing with activity, like it's Boiler Room in there. Andy asks Jim (or T-Bag-Bone, as he's calling him at the moment) if there's a mood shift. When Jim downplays it, Andy says he sat next to Stanley for years. "This is naptime. Open-eye naptime. He balances the phone on his shoulder and just powers down. Now look at him." Stanley is indeed hard-selling a Sabre Tablet over the phone like an infomercial god, and Andy casually asks Jim if it maybe has something to do with the incentive. "Oh, one hundred percent. We all want to see you tattoo your ass," Jim breezes. With that, he hands over a sales form worth 120 points, and asks for a point receipt in return, which he adds to the growing stack on Erin's desk before returning to his next sales call, already in progress. Paper's flowing all over the office, Kevin is two-fisting his adding machines, and Erin's working on filling in one of those fund-raising thermometers in the shape of Andy's legs, with his ass as the goal. Andy looks a little put off by that, maybe because it's not a particularly flattering likeness.

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