Pam excitedly interviews that she can't wait to see what Dwight has planned. She adds that she wishes Jim were here. I guess she's been trained not to know that something's funny unless he's there to shrug at the camera.
Corporate. David asks what Michael thinks the company could be doing better. Michael says he isn't crazy about the name "Dunder Mifflin," and suggests, as alternatives, "Paper Great," or "Great Paper's Our Passion," or "Super Duper Paper." David's like, "Okay! Get out." At the door, Michael tells David that he and Jan have gotten back together, so he may need to sign another one of those "love documents." David uncomfortably tells Michael that the job he's just interviewed for is Jan's; they're letting Jan go. Eh, all she'd have to do is come to the office in a scoop-necked sweater and she could turn that around, no problem.
Scranton. Strap in: it's time for Origins of Paper, the class you would never take in a million years. Dwight very energetically talks about topsoil and nitrogen, asking Stanley about whether rainfall occurs in a solid, liquid, or gaseous state. Stanley answers "liquid" (which is correct, by the way), and Dwight gravely tells him he's earned one Schrute Buck. Stanley drawls, "I don't want it." Dwight yells that he's been fined fifty Schrute Bucks, then, and Stanley sighs, "Make it a hundred." "You don't want to earn Schrute Bucks?" asks Dwight, wounded. Stanley says that he'll give Dwight a billion Stanley Nickels never to speak to him again. Dwight asks the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks. Stanley: "The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns." Ah -- 5:2. Andy tries to punish everyone by abruptly dismissing the meeting, but Pam quiets the pandemonium by loudly ordering everyone to listen to Dwight's presentation. He gives her a huge wink, which Oscar notices, earning him his second "zip your lid" of the day. Maybe he's trying to get that to catch on.