The Office
The Merger

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The Merger

Back inside, Stanley, Phyllis, Ryan, Martin, Hannah, and Karen are standing around, finally getting along now that they can all complain about Michael. Karen's wondering how they'll get home. Phyllis says that Bob Vance has an air pump. "Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration?" Karen says, and just like that, she's friends with Phyllis now. From inside his office, Michael is surprisingly sanguine about being on everybody's bad side. He says that they're just like fourth-graders united in hating the lunch lady, and gloats that "by fourth grade, the lunch lady was the person I hung out with the most." Michael's desk phone rings, and it's Jan, pissed that he fired Tony and now they have to pay Tony severance. Michael blames it on Dwight. "Bad advice from my number two," he says. Jan "reminds" Michael that Jim is his number two, and Michael has to pretend that yeah, he knew that. "I do read the memos," he lies.

So then Jim and Andy and Dwight are in Michael's office as he announces that after much "introspective-tion," he has decided to make Jim his number two. Dwight asks who's number three, and of course. Michael hasn't decided. Andy sucks up. Michael thanks Andy. Dwight sucks up. Michael calls Dwight a suck-up. Can Jim go now?

That evening, Jim is in the parking lot, on his way out. He gets a cell phone call from Karen, who asks Jim to meet her for a much-needed drink. He promises to be there and then hangs up, because Pam is walking by, He calls out to her, and there's some extreme awkwardness as Jim says that he's seeing someone. If he's expecting Pam to act devastated, he's disappointed. Okay, let me amend that: Jim is disappointed. After all, Pam has had all afternoon to get used to the idea, so her lack of surprise now is real. And it helps her pretend to be cool with it. "Good to have you back," Pam says as a brusque goodbye as Jim returns to his car.

The tag is more Andy and Dwight pissing, with the two of them mocking each other in the elevator over their automobiles (XTerra and Trans Am, respectively). This devolves into more fourth-grade putdowns and increasingly lengthy cough-insults that leave Dwight smugly victorious, if rather sore-throated.

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The Office




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