Back in his own office, Jim shows us a pie chart he made of how Michael spends his time. More than 50 percent is "procrastinating," and most of the rest is "distracting others." There's a small sliver of "critical thinking," which Jim made bigger so we could see it. That must be why he used crayons instead of Excel. But thanks, Jim, for showing us how a more effective manager uses his time.
Kevin approaches Pam at her desks and asks where they're registered. Pam, realizing that a conversation is no place for subtlety, "We just want cash." Kevin seems pretty offended at first, but then he gets out his checkbook and writes one out, adding "To love's eternal glory" on the memo line. Later, a remorseful Pam waves the check in a TH, asking, "Is this what I've become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible". But then seeing "Mrs. Pam Halpert" on the pay-to-the-order-of-line makes it all better. It's really all about the sentimental value.
In the conference room, Jim is making a case for giving the raise to just the salesmen. Wow, Jim doesn't get that many bad ideas, but when he does, they're more than terrible enough to make up for their scarcity. He's about to start another pro and con list, and Michael continues mocking Jim for overthinking. Jim impatiently tells Michael that Michael has a lot of strengths, but he also has weaknesses, which is why Jim is there. The Michael flaw that is relevant to this particular situation is of course Michael's difficulty with making tough, unpopular decisions. Michael makes one for Jim right now: "You suck!" Which Jim usually doesn't, but when he actually lets Michael goad him into going out to the bullpen and tell everyone about his plan, he does suck a little. "This had better be terrible," Michael tells us before following Jim out to watch the carnage.
Jim goes out to make the announcement, coming right out and saying that the raise is going to the sales staff. Of course the non-sales people are kind of pissed, and don't seem to be placated even when Jim says he's leveling with them because they're smart. "Thank you, Jim, for thinking that we're smart people," Oscar says sarcastically. He accuses Jim of wanting to reward "his friends and the people he sleeps with." Kelly comes in, carrying shopping bags and asks what going on, and when Kevin tells her, she calls him a jerk. "How is that going to repair Ryan's car?" Oh, man, there's one of those single lines that when you hear it, you suddenly know the whole story behind it. We don't get as many of those any more, do we? To Jim's surprise, Dwight's angrier than anyone, demanding to know how it's fair to everyone else that Dwight should get a raise. As this threatens to turn into a lynching, Jim offers to rewind, but his attempt to lighten the mood by talking fake-backwards fails to get a laugh. Even from me. Michael decides Jim's had enough, so he steps up to the "rescue." Which, it being Michael, consists of a lot of meaningless babble that annoys everyone even more. "At least Jim was being direct when he was telling us his dumb-ass plan," Meredith says. Michael says he and Jim will go into his office, and work on it, "and not come out until we do." The door closes.