The Office
The Promotion

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
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Jim vs. Everyone

Michael and Jim are getting off to a slow start, and then they get the idea of ranking everyone by merit. Which I'm sure about a fifth of the office will appreciate.

In a group TH, a bunch of non-salesmen and Dwight complain about how angry they are at the company "And Jim," Dwight ventriloquizes. Meredith asks who said that. Dwight fingers Creed. "Yup," Creed agrees.

Jim and Michael are back in the conference room. They've gotten headshots of everyone laid out on the table, and are ranking them using a point system wherein they are each given a limited number of Boston Baked Beans and have to divide them between the photos. Before they're finished, Erin comes in, saying Wallace wants them both to respond to a meeting invite. So of course they both scamper out, leaving their unfinished project unattended. As they leave, Dwight sneaks in.

Dwight THs about how people are finally beginning to realize how terrible Jim is. He thinks they'll revolt soon, and compares them unfavorably to the founding fathers, and adds that the American Revolution would have been delayed by ten years if they'd been in charge. I think he's being generous.

Dwight invites everyone into the conference room to show them the outrage of their raises being decided by having beans put on their faces. Jim and Michael are the last ones in (how long does it take to respond to a meeting invite, anyway?) as Pam asks, "Why aren't there any beans on this old, frizzy-haired picture of me?" Jim stammers that he didn't want to seem biased. Honestly, what the hell was Wallace thinking, putting Jim in a management position over his fiancée? Amid all the chaos, Kevin just keeps asking what a bean means. And Jim and Michael back out before things start to get violent.

Out in the bullpen, Dwight overhears Phyllis and Andy complaining to each other about the situation, and decides to make his move. He stands up, making a big barricade speech about how they need to drag Jim out of his office, take his keys, etc. "What say you!" he roars. They pretty much say, "Meh." I'm thinking their armed revolt against the British monarchy isn't on the American timetable at all. More like the British timetable.

Strafed by angry questions the whole way, Michael ducks across the bullpen into Jim's office. At least they're in agreement about something: they're both miserable. But then Michael smiles, and admits, "I used to have to do this part alone." He goes to get Jim something, and Jim makes a startling realization: "Michael is my only friend in this office." Except Pam, and he's not sure he can count her right now. Michael returns with matching "World's Best Boss" mugs full of gin, which they quietly start sipping together. An insistent knock at the door is heard. "Just pretend we're not here," Michael whispers. And that's the end. We've just seen another stage in the Michaelization of Jim.

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The Office

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