Now that they're co-managers, Jim and Michael's pissing contest is escalating rapidly. Things aren't improved much when they get word that there isn't enough money in the budget to give everyone a raise. Jim and Michael's conflicting management styles have them at each other's throats. But when Jim announces that his solution is to give raises to just the salespeople, everyone's pissed at Jim. And when Michael doesn't have a better plan, they turn on him, too. They end up besieged together in Jim's new office, but at least the misery causes them to bond. Meanwhile, Dwight tries to use the situation to foment a coup against Jim, and Pam tries to ask her coworkers for money in lieu of wedding gifts. Good thing the wedding is next week so she can get a real storyline again.
So far, the person having the most trouble with the new Michael/Jim co-boss arrangement is Dwight. Michael won't sign Dwight's expense report because, as per Wallace, he's "big picture," and Jim -- now situated in an office behind Stanley that I never knew existed before -- won't sign it because Dwight won't say please. Dwight tries to bring his problem back to Michael: "I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office" nearly fishes Michael in, but it doesn't work. Dwight returns to Jim's office to make his complaint, but Dwight's answers to Jim's series of very serious questions ("Did he hit you? Did you cry? Did you feel like crying?") don't get Dwight anywhere. Of course we all know what this is really about. Dwight talking-heads about how he was the one who deserved that promotion. This leads into an elaborate fantasy about how much Dwight wants to defeat Jim in the wrestling ring, a fantasy that gets pretty loud until Erin sticks her head in and says, "Jim wants you to keep it down." Don't we all.
Michael is about to call everyone into the conference room for what threatens to be a very long meeting, but first Jim wants to talk to him in his office. But before that, Michael wants to talk to Jim in his office. Jim sighs and gives in. "Can I also be a boss?" Stanley mutters. Oh, this is going great. But just in case we're not getting the point, Oscar does a little deadpan TH about how any successful organization needs two leaders. "Where would the Catholic Church be without the Popes?" I see his point, but there are counterexamples. Like the Beatles, and...okay, I'm done.
In Michael's office, Jim is trying to have a serious talk with Michael about all the lengthy conference-room meetings they've been having lately...like the one about the planets. Michael claims that that was just a natural progression from the line of toilet paper they're introducing. Michael keeps purposely missing Jim's point, until Jim finally suggests no unnecessary meetings. "No more meetings this week," Michael agrees, to Jim's surprise. And not a little suspicion.
Pam regards the box of donuts in the break room, and tells Phyllis about her dilemma: she has to fit into her wedding dress, but she's pregnant. The pregnant wins, and as Pam turns with her donut to reveal that her middle is growing a bit, Ryan helpfully points out that it's a myth that pregnant women have to gain more than nine pounds. Phyllis rolls her eyes, because she's having one of her awesome moments, and asks Pam if they've registered for wedding gifts. Pam says they have, more out of a sense of obligation than anything else, but they'll also appreciate gifts off the registry..."However much." Yes, this is Pam's subtle way of asking for money as a wedding gift. Wow, between this and that microwave mess sign, Pam occasionally has a bit of a tacky streak. She THs about how it's awkward to be asking people for cash, but she needn't worry; Phyllis doesn't take the hint, and plans to give them a birdhouse mailbox instead. Or a mailbox birdhouse. They're equally useful.