The Office
The Secret

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The Secret

Michael walks in just as Jim has just succeeded in setting up Pam for the old "What's updog?" bit. You know, you say the word "updog," and then the mark asks what "updog" is, and you answer, "Not much, what's up with you?" Hilarious. Michael asks for a repeat, and takes a moment to get it. And then he can't wait to try it on everyone else, but he can't seem to ever pull off the setup. Like, Ryan and Stanley respond with "what?" and "don't interrupt my sales call," respectively. Dwight is his last, best hope, and actually does come back with the "what's updog?" reply, but Michael skips right to his celebration and forgets to close the deal. After realizing his mistake, he sulks into his office, with Dwight somehow still pleased at the attention. "So close," Jim mouths to us.

It's spring cleaning day at Dunder Mifflin, even if it is January. This way, Michael says, they don't have to do anything in the spring. Out in the bullpen, Dwight is giving out assignments to everyone. Meredith has to replace the urinal cakes, and Oscar has to dust. Except that Oscar is out sick. Dwight says that's unacceptable. Angela agrees with Dwight. Then they eye-fuck. "Wwwwhat are you guys doing?" Kevin asks uncomfortably. Dwight takes off. His eyes need a cigarette.

But he goes straight into Michael's office, who shares Dwight's suspicion that Oscar is malingering. Together they dial up Oscar at home, and Oscar sounds pretty stuffed up as he claims to have the flu. Michael says that's a shame; they could have used some "Hispanic cleaning ethic," causing Ryan to look up in horror from whatever it is he's doing on Michael's floor. Oscar doesn't react audibly, which is of course an obvious sign that he's faking. Not that Michael picks up on it. Instead, he quizzes Oscar on his symptoms, which Dwight finds consistent with what he's checking out on WebMD. Michael lets Oscar off the hook -- or so it seems. He actually wants Dwight to drop what he's doing and investigate. "Because an office can't function efficiently unless people are at their desks, doing their jobs," Michael lectures.

At reception, Pam is talking to Kelly about having bought her wedding veil. Kelly asks to be a bridesmaid. Pam's like, "...err." Fortunately, Kelly changes the subject to how Pam is going to wear her hair. Pam lets it down, which all but conjures Michael out of his office to ask Pam why she doesn't wear it like that all the time. "It's much sexier," he says grossly. Pam immediately gets to work putting it back up. Which seems like a waste of time, now that she's just going to have to shower for six hours to get the Michael Scott ickiness (extra-chunky style!) off of herself. As Michael passes Jim's desk, he quietly remarks in passing to Jim that this must be torture for him.

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The Office

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