The Office

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That's What She Seth

Everyone's down in the parking lot to greet Oscar, who has taken up cycling to the office and is obnoxiously happy about it. "A horse is a bike that pedals itself," Dwight points out. Kevin notices that it's a Lance Armstrong model, which offends Kelly as a member of Team Sheryl Crow, so nobody notices that Michael has gotten on the bike until he topples over. He talking-heads that of course he can ride a bike: "I take spinning classes three times a month." Plus, the one he gave to that Benihana waitress was pretty worn out. Pam and Jim carefully launch Michael across the parking lot on the bike (and Oscar's okay with this?) while he starts up his own supportive chant, until he crashes into a car. "You never forget!" he whoops triumphantly as he limps away.

Jim and Dwight are doing a sales call together, to a guy named Steve Nash. "He's not the Steve Nash," Jim points out waggishly in the parking lot. Dwight thinks Jim is being condescending, and then asks who the Steve Nash is. Jim asks if Dwight ever heard of the point guard for the Phoenix Suns. "No, Mr. Jock Hipster," Dwight says. Jim remarks that he's neither of those things. Sorry, I'm with Dwight on this one. This sales call is going to go great.

Andy's looking through his Cornell alumni magazine (oh look, someone remembered), which includes the shocking news that one of his classmates died falling off Mount Kilimanjaro, and the even more shocking news that his old friend "Broccoli Rob" recorded a song for some dairy council ad with Trey Anastasio from Phish. "I forget about milk, this is a terrific reminder," Phyllis says, obliviously twisting the knife of jealousy that's already buried so deep in Andy's guts it's coming out of his eyes. Andy takes it even harder in a TH, saying it should have been him; "In Here Comes Treble, I had four solos. Broccoli Rob had three."

Dwight and Jim are entering the lobby, Dwight assigning Jim to alert the lady at the front desk to their presence. "You're good with receptionists," he zings. Suddenly Jim spots Timothy Olyphant sitting in the waiting area and immediately reverses direction to duck back out of sight without even taking the time to turn around. I know he's pretty intimidating, Jim, but you know Deadwood, Justified, and The Girl Next Door, and Go aren't actually real, right? Okay, maybe one of them was, a little. Jim calls Dwight's attention to the man, and Dwight also recognizes him and hisses, "Crap!" They do a joint TH in which Dwight says that "Danny Cordray is the worst." By which he actually means that Danny is the best salesman ever, an employee of Osprey Paper who has stolen more clients from Dunder Mifflin than anyone. "So the situation is the worst," Jim clarifies. "Also, he slept with Pam," Dwight adds. Wait, what? Jim says he didn't, but Dwight silently nods, yeah he did.

So now there's a joint talking-head with Jim and Pam back in the conference room at the office, in which an annoyed Jim invites her, "Tell 'em." Pam explains that nothing happened: "We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again." That last bit is news to Jim, who thought it "fizzled." Pam explains that someone has to start the fizzle, which Jim thought she did. "No, I liked him," Pam says. Wrong thing to say. "For a couple of days. Four years ago." When Jim was in Stamford, in other words. Jim's just nodding at the camera. "You know I have a kid with you, right?" Pam asks him. "Eehhh," Jim scoffs. It's not like we ever see her.

Dwight informs Jim that he plans to intimidate Danny. Jim agrees, "I'" They walk in together, Dwight talking about a dating triumph that starts with a woman commenting on the largest penis she'd ever seen and ends with the story taking place in the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars. "Well, hello, Danny," he smarms. They shake hands, Danny acting all friendly and charming, joking that he's just here for the coffee. He's not fooling Dwight, though. I mean, he's not trying to fool anyone, but Dwight doesn't know that.

Back at the office, Michael's got everyone else in a brainstorming session when a cell phone goes off. It's Michael's though, and he's happy to take Jim's call, annoying everyone by saying he's not busy. Jim asks Michael to come over, and Michael agrees, figuring they're calling in "the big guns." Before heading out, he proudly tells everyone, "The only reason I got out of the sales game was so I could be reluctantly called back in." Pam says he looks more eager than reluctant, and he eagerly ducks out.

Andy pays another unsolicited visit to Darryl, to draft him as a keyboard player for the band he's starting. Darryl declines, saying he plays for pleasure. Andy offers him sixty bucks a session. "That's crazy money," Darryl says. "I'll take forty." Andy's thrilled. Darryl really does treat him better than he deserves sometimes, and this week that's just getting started.

Michael has joined Jim and Dwight in the lobby by the time Danny comes out of his sales call, and upon first sight of the guy, thinks he's a male model. But then he pops up and introduces himself. "Three of you guys for one sale," Danny remarks. "We call it overkill," Michael says. "Why am I telling you my strategy?" Danny takes off, and Michael tries to take over the sales call with his whole "Showtime!" bit. "Not doing that," Jim says. "I've been in showtime mode since breakfast," Dwight agrees. Michael lets it slide, but then Jim says, "Showtime!" anyway, just to be mean.

Inside Steve Nash's office, Michael is trying to wear him down by offering to deliver on weekends, and selling their paper at cost, to the shock of even Jim and Dwight. But the account is gone, to Danny.

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The Office




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