The Office
The Whale

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!

At the office, Erin is finding herself pretty put off by Pete's mustache. "It makes it look like there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face," she apologizes. "A handsome eyebrow, but, um, it makes your mouth looks like an eye look like a Cyclops whose eye fell out. Which is great! It's such a great cause!" Cut to Pete coming out of the bathroom with a razor, shaving cream, and a bald lip. Fuck those prostates, man.

Pam sits through a video slideshow, whose soundtrack consists of Jan herself singing a song about how Astrid thinks she's the greatest. Pam accidentally finds herself in a one-upping match with Jan, which she finally loses on purpose, though not without some effort. "Don't patronize me," Jan snaps. "I'm so sorry, I hate this, you're better," Pam concedes in a panic.

Angela wants to leave the health club, but Oscar wants to see more of what's going on with Robert and the yoga instructor. Angela suddenly accuses Oscar of getting his jollies. Oscar tells Angela this could be the affair she's worried about: "Politicians are wonderful liars. You never know who they really are," he says with a little too much passion. Off Angela's alarmed look, he assures her, "But, uh, he's probably not gay. He's straight. He's straight, so." Well, now we know why Oscar never went into politics.

Dwight storms into Jan's office, saying she thought he was out of cards, but he presents what he calls "The Ace of Babes." Enter Clark, asking, "Where's the Quiznos?" "You're the Quiznos," Dwight smirks, introducing Clark as Jan's own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison. He sits on Jan's desk all nasty-like and hints that Molly may not be cutting it, unlike her old assistant Hunter. "I don't recall," Jan lies. "And yes, Molly is crap." Pam whispers to Clark that he doesn't have to do this, but Clark says he wants to -- get into sales, that it -- while Dwight whispers to Jan, "He's been growing that mustache for weeks. Best he can do." Jan has Clark turn around, and sends Dwight and Pam away so she can get right up in Clark's space and ask him, "Do you have a valid passport?"

Back at his desk, Jim takes a call from one of his partners, who says it's not really working. "What does that mean?" Jim stammers. Nothing good, I'm thinking. Is he going to get fired and take three weeks to tell Pam?

At the gym, Angela is trying to get Oscar to say more about the Senator possibly being gay. They watch, still unobserved, as he pulls out his phone and makes a call. They both dive under the table when he turns in their direction, and of course Oscar's phone buzzes. He doesn't answer, but the guilty look he gives Angela is clearly all she needs to see.

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The Office




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