The Office
Turf War

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Andy Scores a Homer

At a coffee stand outside the building, Jim offers to buy for all three of them, but Dwight slaps the money out of his hand. Harry cannily asks how long the two of them have been dating. "Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years," Dwight sneers. "But you're saying there's a chance?" Jim asks him, getting the first smile we've seen from Harry.

Pam joins Robert in the conference room, having lifted Nellie's phone. Robert's both impressed and troubled that her "first instinct is thievery. "What do you want from me?" Pam demands. Nellie really needs a password on her voice mail, because Robert easily plays them back on speaker. The messages include a chin-up message from her mum, a collection call from MasterCard, a brother who wonders if her boss is still hitting on her and a rejection voicemail from an adoption agency before Pam snatches the phone back and accidentally-on-purpose deletes all the messages. Robert yells at her for having "bungled" this, but otherwise lets her out of the room scot-free. Pam looks like she's thinks she's done a good day's work.

In Nellie's office, Pam enables Nellie's compulsive shopping a bit before returning her cell phone, which Pam claims Nellie dropped. Pam acts understanding, what with everything going on with Robert and that gets Nellie started about how "Robert is a filthy beast." She says all he talks about is sex and Pam wittily points out that Robert sometimes also talks about flesh and bacchanals. Nellie tells Pam she can't even say what Robert said on her voice mail last night. With her original goal in reach, Pam instead tells Nellie, "Just put it out of your mind." Nellie does and offers to send Pam a pair of the shoes she was looking at for herself. Then she THs, "Things are looking up. I might be a mother soon, I have MasterCard right where I want them and I have a new friend. A friend. At work." Oh my God, that is so sad. But I wonder who her new friend is?

Erin tells Robert he has a call from "Salvation." Robert picks up the conference room phone and hears Andy telling him, "You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't and I will find another buyer." Robert accuses Andy of blackmailing him. "It's just business," Andy says coolly. Robert darkly chuckles, "I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis debutante. You want to start a street fight with me, bring it on. But you're going to be surprised how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking Lizard King." Click. And all of that without even raising his voice. In his car, Andy goes, "Whoa," clearly not prepared for that onslaught. But then he breezes, "Well, I gave him a chance." And then he gets out of his car and walks right up and rings the doorbell of none other than David Wallace -- to try to sell him Dunder Mifflin itself. Wallace says it's worth half what it was three years ago and closes the door. But with himself outside with Andy, so he's clearly interested. Andy agrees with Wallace's assessment and points out that Wallace knows that with the right management, DM could soon be worth twice what he would pay for it today. Wallace gives Andy a long look and invites him in. Even though I don't believe a second of any of this, I'm looking forward to seeing it play out. Especially since there's no way it can drag on as long as the Michael Scott Paper Company arc from a few years ago.

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The Office

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