The Office

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Take This Job and Shove Michael

Except he's not gone; he's back, sneaking across the parking lot and into the back door. As if Oscar hadn't already been narrating a different show.

Up in the bullpen, Andy is talking to Phyllis about what a "sad dark day" this is. Phyllis tells Andy that Michael is gone. "You don't have to kiss his ass anymore." Man, that lady is growing a mean streak.

In a TH, Toby compares Michael to a movie on an airplane. "It's not great, but it's something to watch. And then when it's over, you're like, how much time is left on this flight? Now what?" That's great. Put that in the promo, NBC.

From his desk, Jim signals to Pam. It seems Michael is belly-crawling across the floor to get to the file cabinets. He tries to reach into one, but Angela holds it shut with her foot. "These are for employees only," she says. Kevin asks why Michael asked everyone except him, Angela, Creed, and Meredith. Don't forget Kelly and Toby and Phyllis, Kevin. Michael says he had to start somewhere, but not with them. With files in hand, Michael then crawls back over to Jim's desk and asks if he's thought about it any more. Jim's still passing. Michael ducks back down when Charles comes out looking for that client list, and goes back to belly-crawling. He leans against the credenza outside the conference room, and whispers that he's their future. "You're older, and you're very happy now, because you went with Michael Scott, right?" It's hard to take your future seriously when it's hiding behind office furniture and whispering to avoid being heard. Asking them if they really all think they're the best they can be here, he wants them to all crawl out together. Nobody moves. So he crawls over and starts pulling on Phyllis's chair. Charles sees this from the conference room and comes outside, so Michael is busted. And Charles is pissed, enough so that Michael says, "I think maybe Hank should be here," he says. Charles says he doesn't need Hank as he takes off his glasses and advances on Michael. Michael throws his stolen files on the floor and runs out. Charles storms back into the conference room, slamming the door. After a pause, Pam stands up and says, "Oh, no," as if what's about to happen is something beyond her control. And in a sense, it is: she's going with Michael. Apparently his speech hit home, on a day when her victory over a copy machine represented a career high point. Concerned, Jim chases her down the stairs, saying, "You can't be serious." He catches up to her in the parking lot, as Pam calls out to Michael that she's coming with him. Between her smile and the shaft of sunlight she's standing in, she's literally glowing. Michael is of course thrilled that anyone, let alone Pam, is coming with him, but she says she doesn't want to be a receptionist any more. "Executive assistant?" Michael asks. "Salesman," Pam corrects. Jim just grins at the camera as they shake on it. Wow, there's supportive, and then there's Jim Halpert. Michael invites him to come along one more time. "Still no," Jim says quickly. So there are limits. Michael wants Pam to come with him now, but Pam says her stuff's up stairs. Michael asks if everyone's watching. They are, including Charles. Jim tries to give Michael one of his lectures, this one being about how this isn't how you leave an office. "Jim, Jim, Jim, we're having a company meeting here," Michael interrupts. So Jim agrees to bring Pam's stuff home for her. And that's it. Michael and Pam walk out of the parking lot together, their smiles fading as the euphoria of their escape begins to give way to the reality of what lies ahead of them. It's like the end of The Graduate or something (spoiler!)

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The Office

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