Dwight sits at his chair and smugly watches Angela open a tiny package on her desk. It's...a key to his place. I am surprised. I've seen Dwight's place, and I would have expected the key to be a cast-iron skeleton number the size of your shinbone.

Roy comes in to pick up Pam, and he quickly picks up on her mood. "Valentine's Day isn't over," he assures her. "Let's get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life." That works about as well as you'd think. And in case you are a boy, that means not at all.

Jan and Michael stand before Wallace's desk in his office, as Michael covers for Jan and apologizes to both of them. He blames Craig for being an idiot, which isn't exactly a tough sell. Jan, once she gets over her amazement that Michael has pulled it off, tells Wallace that it's fine with her if they just forget about it. Good luck with that, Levinson.

Jim leaves for the day, wishing Pam a happy Valentine's Day. She looks disappointed that he didn't get her anything either. Although I suspect that right now, she wouldn't entirely mind if he offered her the same gift that Roy just did. Phyllis follows him out, bent under the weight of her giant teddy bear like a homecoming queen leaving the state fair. Our homecoming queen was less attractive, though.

Corporate. In the elevator lobby, Jan catches up with Michael and thanks him for his classy move earlier. They wish each other a happy Valentine's Day, and then, much to Michael's surprise, Jan kisses him. He is irresistible to her when he's just saved her ass, isn't he? Michael awkwardly cuts a look at the camera behind her. Jan turns and sees us for the first time, and as the elevator doors close on Michael, her face falls in horror. Here we go again.

Michael stands in front of the Fiddler on the Roof marquee on Broadway and runs through every word of Yiddish he knows: "Oy, vey! Schmear!" And then he does a bad little Tevye dance on the sidewalk. This peek into what daily life at the Dunder Mifflin-Scranton branch would be like if anyone there were obviously Jewish has been brought to you by the ADL.