The Office
Valentine's Day

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Valentine's Day

One of Jim's card buddies cancels on him. After Pam finishes watching him, a delivery guy wrestles a giant teddy bear through the door and calls for Phyllis. "Holy God," Pam mutters. An amazed Kevin remarks that the ursine plush is bigger than he is. "No it's not," says the delivery guy. "Oh, zip it," Kevin snaps. I actually can't tell which one of them is correct.

Michael enters the conference room at Corporate, where three other regional managers are already waiting. One of them is Jim's future boss, Josh, whom Michael insists on high-fiving. There's also Dan Gore from Buffalo and a tall tool named Craig from Albany. Apparently, the bosses are running late. Fortunately, Michael brought a full supply of awkward pauses to fill the time.

A desperate Dwight pulls Pam into the break room to asks what to get his girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Pam pretends that she doesn't know said girlfriend is Angela as she says a gift is really about the meaning of it, rather than the item itself. "You mean like a ham?" Dwight asks. "No, not like a ham," Pam says with admirable restraint. The point, she says, is to show how much you care. Dwight's got it. Telling Pam to shut up on his way out is just a bonus.

The regional managers are discussing recent firings, and Craig talks about how Jan told him to fire four people, and he ignored her. "I don't work for that bitch," Craig says. Michael steps up in Jan's defense, not because that language is inappropriate, but because Jan is his girlfriend. Which is what he goes and tells everyone, to general shock and appallment. Is appallment a word? I don't care -- I've still got a lot of old episodes of this show left, and I'm sure I'll need it again. Michael tries to drop the subject, and Josh is only too happy to help. He's probably annoyed that Jan never noticed his superhero jawline.

Kelly is again talking to Jim about Ryan in the break room. They both fall silent when Ryan himself walks in, and then Kelly asks Ryan if he wants to do something tonight. "Oh, no, not while I'm here," mumbles Jim to the universe. Which is pretty ballsy of him, considering he recently asked out a chick's voice mail in front of Kelly. Ryan pretends he has plans with his friends that night. Kelly pretends that's cool with her. Jim pretends he's not there. All three of them suck at pretending.

Pam delivers a new bouquet and box of chocolates to Phyllis's desk. Getting a little moody about it, too, as she drops them brusquely on the formica. As is Meredith, who freshens up her sport drink in the break room with a little tonic water and lime. Maybe those things will actually make it somewhat drinkable.

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The Office




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