The Office

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The Biggest Losers

Holly comes into Michael's office with news. He cuts her off to ask about her date, who still hasn't called, even though she has two tickets to Counting Crows that night. So she's going to 1994? I wonder if she'd bring back a message for 24-year-old me, because there's some shit I could have stood knowing then. Michael somehow manages not to make a play to be her replacement date, even though it's clear to all of us at home that she's really wishing he would. Anyway, the reason she's here is to give the results of the contest: Utica beat them by eight pounds. I wonder if Karen hired Tony Gardner back. Michael asks, "Wait, can we have 'til the end of the day?" So they go out to the bullpen to tell everyone what they're thinking. Andy's got a plan -- he pins the thermostat on the top setting so everyone can sweat it out. How that's going to work when everyone's going to be sweating into the same clothes they'll be wearing onto the scale is beyond me. "Andy Bernard does not lose contests," he THs. "He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair."

Kelly's enjoying her unhealthy lunch in the break room when Michael comes in to give her a hard time about it, because he has the memory of a goldfish. Jim enters to say he's off to lunch with a client, which Michael says is fine. "Nothing but water," he orders, "and be back by weigh-in." Jim agrees. I hope not being able to eat doesn't interfere with his lunch plans. What? Not like that.

Wearing garbage bags, Dwight sprays the bug-infested nightmare inside the vending machine with Raid. And Angela has decided to get reasonable with Andy, asking if their first dance can be to "The Little Drummer Boy." Andy's only too happy to oblige, plus, "the guys already know it." "The guys" being "Nothing But Treble," his old a capella group, who he booked for the wedding, and who will be his collective best man, AND who will be staying with them for three weeks. Angela's uncertain about this, which Andy calls a deal-breaker. But then he backs off the hardline attitude, trying to jolly her along by rattling off all their horrible nicknames. Of which there are dismayingly many. Andy's for the record, is "Boner Champ." So the next thing you know, Dwight's pager is humming again.

At a windy, rainy gas station somewhere, Jim meets Pam. She's still complaining good-naturedly about which of them had to drive further when he drops to one knee right there on the concrete slab next to the gas pumps and proposes. "I can't wait any more," he says. Who is this guy? She happily says yes. They kiss, they hug. It's everything you imagined, except it's at a windy, rainy rest stop and she has a class at 4:00 and he has to rush back to Scranton to get weighed. Their grandkids won't believe it. Good thing it's on film.

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The Office

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