Nellie keeps showing up late and irritating everyone, but because Robert still wants to get into her pants, he makes the Scranton employees show her a proper welcome. Jim and Dwight are conscripted to help move boxes into her apartment, while the rest of the office staff is expected to throw her a party. The staff decides to make it a miserable affair to reflect how they really feel about her. So I guess the raises wore off. The party's ultimate touch will be a magician, which is something Jim just found out Nellie hates more than anything.
Andy and Erin are still en route back to Scranton from Florida, but first they have to make a stop at a cabin in southern Pennsylvania so he can break up with Jessica. When they arrive, it turns out there's a bachelorette party going on for one of Jessica's friends. After a bit of stalling, Andy breaks the news to Jessica that they're done. She accuses him of dumping her for Erin, but he claims he's just gay. This in earshot of the partygoers. And Erin. But at least they get out of there unscathed.
While unpacking Nellie's boxes, Jim and Dwight come across a box of photos of Nellie and an ex-boyfriend who broke her heart back in England. A magician ex-boyfriend. Realizing this might be going too far, Jim calls the office to have Pam pull the plug, but the other employees refuse to let that happen. Thus Jim, Dwight, and Nellie return to the office to find a party crammed in the break room, featuring carrot cake, Creed's music, and a magician. Jim and Pam, with an assist from Dwight, manage to sabotage the magician's show and chase him off, earning Nellie's obvious gratitude. Obviously she's not aware that it's Jim's fault there was a magician in the first place.
Erin's not the type to get mad at Andy for not telling the truth about being in love with her, but when she takes a hurt-nap in the car, she wakes up to find Andy returning to the cabin to announce his love for Erin. Which he does, pissing off everyone at the party. Except Erin, but she's the one whose opinion matters after all. Good thing Andy figured that out eventually.
Everyone's signing a card for Stanley to welcome him back from the hospital. Don't worry, it's not his heart this time; he just had a tonsillectomy. Pam and Phyllis put in a lame joke about how they're glad the surgeons didn't mistakenly give him a mustache-ectomy instead. Jim not only doesn't care for the joke, he points out that Stanley doesn't have a mustache, which is ridiculous. Yet somehow it leads to a whole debate, with the bullpen split down the middle. Pam dashes off a couple of caricatures, one with and one without, and asks which one is right. "Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity," Dwight says. "That said, the one on the left." As the elevator dings, Jim takes a show of hands while Gabe rushes out to intercept Stanley, shielding Stanley's face until he dramatically removes them to reveal -- Stanley's mustache. Jim shakes his head in shame at having gotten it wrong. But not enough shame.
"'Good morning, Robert,' says no one, because our receptionist is in Florida," Robert says as he stomps in. And also because nobody else is saying it to him either. He busts Pam having a "videoconference with Drake featuring Swizzbeats" and starts lecturing everyone about how nine to ten AM is the most productive time of the day. Just then Nellie comes rushing in at 9:50, but charms Robert with a story about her snooze button and lack of willpower. And probably her boobs. "I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman," he smarms, but he still isn't buying Nellie's story and figures she's dealing with some kind of stress. She goes on about the trouble of moving, and asks, "No offense, but are there a lot of Irish people living around here?" "Yes," Kevin Malone and red-headed Meredith say in unison. From there she goes on to offend Oscar and Stanley, then tells them all to keep the hostility on the basketball court. But then amends it to the squash court, or the Supreme Court. Robert tells everyone to give Nellie the help she so obviously needs; Jim and Dwight by helping move Nellie's boxes into her apartment, and the rest of the office by throwing her a party. Jim and Pam have separate THs protesting this, but agree on one question: "Why is she here?"