The Office
Welcome Party

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Everyone's signing a card for Stanley to welcome him back from the hospital. Don't worry, it's not his heart this time; he just had a tonsillectomy. Pam and Phyllis put in a lame joke about how they're glad the surgeons didn't mistakenly give him a mustache-ectomy instead. Jim not only doesn't care for the joke, he points out that Stanley doesn't have a mustache, which is ridiculous. Yet somehow it leads to a whole debate, with the bullpen split down the middle. Pam dashes off a couple of caricatures, one with and one without, and asks which one is right. "Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity," Dwight says. "That said, the one on the left." As the elevator dings, Jim takes a show of hands while Gabe rushes out to intercept Stanley, shielding Stanley's face until he dramatically removes them to reveal -- Stanley's mustache. Jim shakes his head in shame at having gotten it wrong. But not enough shame.

"'Good morning, Robert,' says no one, because our receptionist is in Florida," Robert says as he stomps in. And also because nobody else is saying it to him either. He busts Pam having a "videoconference with Drake featuring Swizzbeats" and starts lecturing everyone about how nine to ten AM is the most productive time of the day. Just then Nellie comes rushing in at 9:50, but charms Robert with a story about her snooze button and lack of willpower. And probably her boobs. "I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman," he smarms, but he still isn't buying Nellie's story and figures she's dealing with some kind of stress. She goes on about the trouble of moving, and asks, "No offense, but are there a lot of Irish people living around here?" "Yes," Kevin Malone and red-headed Meredith say in unison. From there she goes on to offend Oscar and Stanley, then tells them all to keep the hostility on the basketball court. But then amends it to the squash court, or the Supreme Court. Robert tells everyone to give Nellie the help she so obviously needs; Jim and Dwight by helping move Nellie's boxes into her apartment, and the rest of the office by throwing her a party. Jim and Pam have separate THs protesting this, but agree on one question: "Why is she here?"

Cut to Erin and Andy, wearing t-shirts from Savannah, Georgia and road-tripping back to Scranton. Andy explains they'll be stopping off to visit Jessica at her parents' cabin in southern Pennsylvania so he can break up with her, and Erin says that must be nice. Andy agrees that the cabin is the perfect place to let Jessica down. "No, I meant that must be nice to have parents," Erin says. She's also insisting on no kissing until the official breakup, which I guess is admirable, for someone who would want to kiss Andy in the first place.

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The Office

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