The Office
Welcome Party

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Phyllis, Angela, Oscar, and Pam decide to have a terrible party for Nellie, right there in the break room, with carrot cake. And back on the road, Erin and Andy are role-playing his breakup with her in the role of Jessica. They do a speed version in a minute ten, then a worst-case scenario in which Erin is whiny and obnoxious. Obviously the worst-case scenario is beyond either of their imaginations.

Jim and Dwight are trying to move Nellie's crap into her apartment, when Dwight somehow horrifies her beyond reason with a simple reference to working his magic to fit an oversized chair through the door. Apparently Nellie is repulsed by magicians, and goes on about it as some length. Jim gets a call from Pam saying they're going to make the party really bad. "Sounds like every other party," Jim says, accurately. Pam runs down some of the ideas they have, and Jim excitedly says, "Hire a magician. Trust me."

Andy's car pulls up to the cabin, which is more like a giant ranch house in the woods. Also, there are a lot of cars in the driveway. A woman named Lauren, who's wearing some kind of veil-like item on her head and must be Jessica's friend or sister, taps on Andy's window, so he rolls it down and makes up a story about how he's coming back from a business trip and his "coworker" Erin totaled her car. Lauren tells him that Jessica's out for a run but will be back soon. In the meantime, a small crowd of women and one dude are slowly emerging from the house like a horde of well-groomed zombies. Erin hits the intellectual pinnacle of her life, deploying previously unhinted-at deductive powers to urgently mutter to Andy, "That is a bachelorette party, this is Jessica's friends, and they've been drinking during the daytime. Should we go?" Andy's about to, but just then Jessica returns from her run, so he isn't going anywhere.

While unpacking Nellie's stuff, Jim and Dwight come across a shoebox full of photos of Nellie and her ex-boyfriend, even though it's labeled, "Do not open, stupid. Love, Nellie." Nellie busts them rifling through the pictures and sadly says, "I see you've discovered Benjamin. That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry." Dwight wonders, "Why not call--" Jim" "Shh!"

After the ads, the three of them are sitting on the floor going through Nellie's bitter romantic memories. "But what's ten years of bliss down the drain compared with the thrill of starting over with nothing and no one." Jim asks about one particular photo showing Henry in a cape and top hat, which Nellie says is the most embarrassing part. "What kind of fool gets her heart broken by a bloody stage magician?" Jim's face says, "Oops, too far."

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The Office

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