The Office

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We Didn't Start the Fire
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Michael is in his office, using his computer to watch a clip of himself avowing to last week's TV news crew that there is nothing wrong and will never be anything wrong with Sabre printers. His phone rings ("Michael Scott, as seen on TV," he answers), and a falsetto voice says, "I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener!" It's Packer, obviously. Michael talking-heads about "allegations that Sabre printers can cause a fire." So he was asked to give a statement, and now it's all over the media, including the request line he called to talk about it on the radio. "It's like, come on, people, enough," he says, pretending to be weary of all the attention. And pretending badly.

Michael announces to the bullpen that he's the second-most watched clip on the local news site, after "that teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile." He tells everyone to fluff his viewing stats. But then they get distracted by a clip of a new baby otter at the zoo. Michael whining-heads about how it's not even that interesting, but then ends up nearly moved to tears from watching it himself. He otter get back to work.

Jo Bennett is in the house, complete with her two great Danes towing guys that, unlike Gabe, actually look like matches for them. Jo waves a news clipping around, doing a slow-burn (no pun intended) about how the media wants to tell a story about cheap foreign printers killing Americans. Kevin starts to volunteer that he knows what happened. "I'm not sure you do, Teddy Bear," Jo Medusas at him. "Well, now I think I might not," Kevin concedes. Jo goes on a rant to everyone (including us) that they had discovered the defect and were about to send out a software patch, as well as a letter and a bunch of free toner to all their customers, but then "somebody here, they like that first story better. The one where we lose half our clients for no damn good reason!" she punctuates the rant by slapping the news story up on Pam's drawing of the office park. Pam looks wounded by this attack on her one successful work of art ever, and Jo tells whoever squealed to come forward now. Not remotely intimidated by her display, Michael smoothly assures her it wasn't any of his people, and asks anyone who talked to raise their hand. "Raise your hand, Norma Rae," Phyllis murmurs to Andy. In return, Andy threatens to maim her with her own glasses if she says anything. In a TH, he complains, "Even if I thought that our printers killed baby seals, I would not be a whistleblower. The Bernards, for generations, have silenced whistleblowers. It's how we made all our money. Woody Guthrie wrote a song about us." Which he of course sings.

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The Office




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