The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
We Didn't Start the Fire


At his desk, Ryan explains how Woof is his own social networking service to end all social networking services, connecting all your messages to all your communication portals. Then he sends himself a Woof, and his computer goes nuts, his printer spits out a page, and Erin is heard on his phone saying, "Ryan, you have a Woof on line one." "Woof!" Ryan says. I'd like to know how many users he's got, but he'd just lie about it anyway.

Michael's idea: smash all the computers to destroy the evidence, which they point out will also get them fired. Darryl points out, "All you need is one scapegoat," cutting his eyes to Kelly. Before everyone can turn on each other, Pam suggests Michael convince Jo to cut the perp some slack, and then they'll all confess. "You can count on me," Michael says. That's already worrying, but the fact that it's the last line in the scene makes it even more so.

Toby is in single combat with the vending machine. Dwight gets up to help him, and they both have it tipped pretty far forward when Dwight answers his cell phone, leaving Toby to hold up the machine on his own. The call is from a realtor, who tells Dwight about a property with a basement office. "You mean like a lair?" Dwight asks. Come on, Dwight, how many lairs do you need?

Later, in the break room again, after the vending machine has either been righted or had Toby Windexed off the front of it, Michael tells Jo, "I was up all lunch thinking about what we should do to this individual." His plan? Twisting his face cruelly, he says, "We make 'em come to work, and we work 'em, and we make 'em sit next to all the people they screwed over, and we pay them, but we make them feel like they did something really wrong." This goes on until Jo looks at him and asks in a whisper, "Michael Scott, what do you know?" The good news is that the answer won't take long.

Back in the conference room, she's demanding he tell her, "because I want to deal with it the way I deal with it." "Deal with this," Michael sasses, folding his arms stubbornly. She orders him to speak. Michael actually endures the long silence, which is more than one of her great Danes can do. She ends up putting him in her car and driving off, while Gabe wonders, "Should I continue with the investigation?" Like it matters what Gabe does, ever.

She ends up driving Michael to the airplane hangar where her jet is parked. "Are you gonna kill me?" he asks. Jo just gives a low, slow, Annie Wilkes cackle.

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The Office




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