The Office

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We Didn't Start the Fire

Andy reminds Gabe that he was the one who brought it to Gabe's attention in the first place. As always, people quickly start turning on Gabe (except for Creed, who flips a coin that comes up "Angela"). Enter Nick the IT guy, happily announcing that he's joining Teach For America in Detroit. "Uh, not now," Gabe snots. There's a whole long bit about how everyone always forgets Nick's name, and Dwight even calls him Lurch. That's when Nick gives a little seminar on one of the most valuable business skills that nobody ever teaches, which is Don't Piss Off The IT Guy. Dude was in their hard drives just today, after all. To Ryan, he says, "You're not a photographer, and [Kelly] definitely can't fit into a size two. Darryl, man, you're on Facebook? Why you been telling people you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man!" And then he tells Andy that he was the one who snitched; Nick found his letter to the editor, as well as the Quicktime version of the video Andy made with Darryl. "This guy's the snitch. He's the snitch. So, that's it, check it out." He flips everyone the blurred (that's a middle finger, pixilated out) and stomps out. Into the silence, Andy asks, "We're gonna believe that guy?" Everyone nods in unison.

Jo is making a confession of her own to Michael, saying she once hoped she'd be such a respected business tycoon that they'd make a Barbie out of her. Michael's at least smart enough not to make a comment about that. "I hate that I sell cheap printers," she says. But if I have to go out there in front of the press and make one of them public apology recalls... it's all I'll ever be remembered for. Nobody'll ever want to play with my Barbie." Michael offers to do that for her. By which he means make the statement, not play with the Barbie. "Oh, honey, surely you don't want that," Jo says. "I surely do, and don't call me 'honey,'" Michael cracks. Jo actually laughs. "Airplane II," Michael misattributes. Well, look who's his usual self again.

"I'm about to buy this building, you know," Dwight tells Hank the security guard. "Enjoy that chair for now. Because pretty soon, you will be on your feet. At Buckingham Palace." I still don't know what's going on here, but neither does Hank.

As everyone leaves for the day, Andy wonders where his bag is. Phyllis points up to where part of it is sticking down from the ceiling. "You deserve it," she adds meanly. Andy refrains from snapping, "Maybe you're in the ceiling!" Instead, he THs, "Look, I don't want houses and schools to burn down. Does that make me a hero?" "No, it does! Not!" Kevin snaps from somewhere offscreen. "Well, it doesn't make me the worst guy in the world, either," Andy adds lamely. "It does!" Meredith yells from somewhere else offscreen.

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The Office

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