The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
False Startup

Ryan shows off his marketing plan: a stack of WUPHF t-shirts for girls to wear at spring break, and WUPHF condoms for him to drop out of a helicopter. Darryl asks what he's going to do if he gets the money to continue, and Ryan says the lesson of Silicon Valley is to not think about the money ever. Does he not know how that turned out? Michael's still trying to convince everyone when Kelly comes in saying WUPHF was her idea, and her story about how she could never get a hold of him and wanted a way to be a little dog going "wuphf wuphf wuphf" totally convinces me and everyone else in the universe. Ryan wheedles her, and Darryl asks which branch of Washington University wants to buy. Ryan specifies the Washington University Public Health Fund. Which is when everyone figures out they only want the domain name. What's wrong with The shareholders all vote to sell, except for Michael and Ryan, who hold the majority of the shares. "You alone do, actually," Ryan corrects.

Outside, Kevin happily runs into the hay maze. While Angela sits outside, a kid and her dad (Jack Coleman, a.k.a. HRG from Heroes without his HRG), complains about Dwight nickel-and-diming everything. Angela makes a weak joke about Pay Place, and he laughs politely, which is a new experience for her. Inside, Kevin trying to get help finding his way out from the kids, who only run from him in fear. I can see where he would be a frightening sight in there.

Pam finds Michael separating the trash from the recycling unnecessarily ("eight years," he sighs), and brings up her concerns about Ryan, gently saying he's taking advantage of Michael. He's in denial about it, but she reminds him that other people he cares about have money in it. "You may be right. I may be crazy," Michael begins. Pam reluctantly lets him continue the song, but it doesn't make him feel better as much as he thought it would.

Jim is now so desperate for new ways to waste time that he's hanging around at Creed and Meredith's desks for tips. While he's holding his breath for Creed, Gabe comes up and busts him. "Can you at least try to look busy?" Gabe begs.

So Jim's next project is to listen to Jo's book on tape, read by the author. He's also using some sound editing software to cut out clips. Not clear what he's up to yet, but he soon isolates a bit of a clip of her talking about "gay bastard" David Geffen so it sounds like she's saying "Gabe." I'm forming a theory.

Michael enters the utility closet where Ryan still sits, busting him playing a game. Michael expresses concerns about what they can do in the time they have left, and Ryan says all his ideas require more money. "I know I've tapped you so hard," he says. He has to be purposely setting Michael up for that. Michael takes it, but doesn't seem to get much joy out of Ryan's subsequent sucking up. Still, Michael offers to take a second mortgage, and Ryan agrees that "a lot of people are doing that and there don't seem to be any consequences." He entices Michael with a story about a future with the two of them on a private plane eating a private meal cooked by a private chef. Michael points out that they don't have dinner now, and Ryan agrees they should, but not tonight. Michael leaves him to it.

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The Office




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