Ozzy wanders over to Sharon and asks her to order him some sashimi, with no rice. She calls, and Ozzy hovers over her, bobbing and weaving like he's going down for the count. He tells her it's "shashumi," not "shashimi." Kelly wanders by and says, "Sushimi, mom." Sharon gives up and hands the phone over to Ozzy. Good move, Sharon -- who is obviously operating as an Executive Producer right now instead of a wife, because she knows this is going to be goddamn funny. Ozzy tells the poor dude on the other end that he wants no rice. "I can't understand what you're saying," Ozzy says. "What kind of " he repeats. He goes on to order a double order of yellowtail. He asks what that green stuff is. Sharon helpfully calls over, "Green sauce." Thanks, Sharon. That's exactly what it's called. "How long before the order gets here?" he says. "That's fabulous." Ah, so everything is well and good. Oh wait, there's trouble. "What do you say?" says Ozzy. "Do you speak English?" Hee. "Do you!? No, do YOU!?" I imagine the sushi guy now asking. Ozzy says he'll speak very slowly. Great. That'll help. He starts over, "I would like to place an order of sashimi." Beautiful. Credits.
The episode is called, "A Little Ditty 'Bout Jack and Brieann." Oh no they didn't. That's terrible. You're all fired.
House. Night. Oh, it's not their house, but rather Jack is standing outside of someone else's gate. The unmistakable voice on the other end of the intercom comes through. It's Courtney Love! She either fucks around pretending she doesn't know who Jack is -- who has come to pick her up for an event she presumably was aware of beforehand -- or she's high. "Oh, Little Jack!" she says. He puts some shades on as the girl he's with says he has a little stubble. Jack says it's what happens when you turn seventeen. Courtney Love comes to the gate in her underwear, drug-babbling about how she also has suicidal Pomeranians and she has a bad music neighbor who is going through a midlife crisis and thus plays "bad reggae." Jack nods, pretending to understand. Question: Why is Courtney Love babbling like some annoying Osbournes fan? Answer: I think this is one big audition for her own MTV reality show. Other questions: Why is a forty-year-old woman hanging out with teenagers? Answer: I have no fucking idea. She shoves her ass in the camera and tells them not to shoot her ass.