Jack says that the reason his dog is dysfunctional is the same reason he himself is: because he's angry at her. "Angry at me? For what?" asks Sharon. ("Um, for sixteen years of raising me in this fucking nuthouse.") Jack says Lola knew Sharon brought another cat home, and that's why she's pissed off. Jack says Lola was fine until they got Pip and the cat. Pip keeps jumping around and shaking his head. "Shut up!" Jack yells at Pip. Hee. Poor Pip is just pissed because Sharon has stupid Minnie on her lap, feeding it out of her own food bowl -- that's why Pip is bounding around. Well, also because of his messed-up little pea brain. Jack asks if he can feed Pip to the coyotes, and Sharon says that she'd rather talk about Lola and her "one-way ticket." Poor Lola. Jack threatens Minnie. "Never never never!" sings Sharon at Minnie, saying that she feels like breaking out into song whenever she sees her. God, little dog owners like Sharon are exactly why I hate little dogs.
Ozzy comes home, and Jack starts running to try to hide Lola from his wrath. Jack instead just runs away, and Ozzy comes in with his hair up in a bun and wearing a bathrobe. He wants to see the stray cat, and Sharon says that they're trying to catch it in the cage with a can of tuna. Ozzy begins complaining about his new steam room not being as good as the old one and the shower not as strong. Sharon explains that there is a California law, and they put something in there to restrict the flow. When they "fuck off," she says, they'll break it and remove the device. Ozzy, the good environmentalist, says no, they won't break the law. (Ozzy, more likely, just doesn't want to be kicked out of America, like he's been kicked out of Texas.)
Ozzy, his lovely drawing nearly all done, says that he can't stand to see Lola left alone. Sharon says she loves Lola (bullshit -- she wants to be rid of the mutt), and Ozzy says he does too, but Lola is trying to destroy him. They discuss the cushion with Jack, and Jack says his friend sent his dog to a Doggie Boot Camp. Ozzy wants a dog like Lassie that does tricks. He mumbles and then says, "I'm not picking up another turd. I'm a rock star." Hee. And commercials.