Back. Kitchen. Ozzy is trying to give his views on Bush and war and the United Nations, but the dog is barking and Kelly and Robert are playing and he just says, "Ah, forget it. " Hee. Jack immediately says that he's enlisting, and that he's a very political person. Kelly asks if they go to war, would she and Jack have to fight. Jack says she'd sit behind a desk while Sharon says that's not true, that women can go to the front line now. "Bullocks!" shouts Ozzy. I wish he was in the U.N. He'd take care of everything. Sharon says there was a woman caught last time we went to Iraq, and Ozzy says yeah, but she was a "fucking janitor." Hee. Meanwhile, Kelly and Robert just play, not really listening. Sharon butts in, saying that women fly helicopters and do everything now. But not on the front line, says Ozzy. Sharon says they do. "Oh, fuck off!" shouts Ozzy. Hee.

Sharon tries to get Kelly to bring Bert to the house. She says that Kelly can't go to Salt Lake City because she's not eighteen yet and still has to play by Sharon's rules; she wants him to stay at the house and sleep in Jack's room. (Why does Jack have to be punished?) Kelly says that she hasn't had sex with him (which means she's about to any minute). Kelly says she doesn't want Bert staying at the house because Ozzy will sit around and go, "Have you -- have you messed around with my daughter?" Man, her Ozzy impression is terrible. It's more like Jack Klugman. Sharon says he'd never do that. Kelly totally disagrees.