Ozzy watches the Two Fat Ladies show again. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me!" says Ozzy. He then shoos Lola away from the turkey he's making.
Sharon stands with some be-suited dude in Kelly's bedroom. They look at a photo of a fat guy in his underwear. "So this must be Kelly's boyfriend," Sharon says. She's worried if it is. Sharon's never even seen a photo of the dude? Doesn't she have internet access at their mansion? Seriously.
Kelly comes home with the band. She grabs Pukey and tries to hide him. "I'll deal with this fucking Burlington Bertie," says Sharon. Sharon sits, asking why Bert isn't going to come say hi. He says he's shy. Sharon says he's full of shit. Bert says he is full of shit, but then says he's shy. Huh? Sharon makes small talk about Kelly's hair and which way he likes it. They babble about the band's upcoming show for a little while, until Sharon asks, "So where did this 'Cauliflower Dick' thing come from?" Kelly says she's out of her mind and quickly leads Bert out of there. Sharon cackles and grabs her Jamba Juice. Who is that dude in the suit? He's creeping me out.
Night. House. Ozzy sharpens a knife while watching the Two Fat Ladies again. They say something about making gingerbread with dark treacle, and Ozzy giggles.
Kelly and Sharon. Kelly says that she's pissed about what she did to Bert and that Sharon wouldn't do that to Aimee's boyfriend. Sharon says that she's jealous, and Kelly says that it's a big "mind fuck" and she has to stop. Other people are sitting around, as always. Sharon goes into performance mode, telling Kelly to get rid of Bert so things can be the way they were. She gets on her knees as everyone laughs. "I don't like it, Kelly, please. Tell him to go and leave our lives, please!" says Sharon. It's sort of not too funny anymore after a while. Kelly tells Sharon that if she wants to spend time with her, she should ask to have lunch or something. Sharon says that everything is "Bert." The crap goes on until Sharon says, "You're meant to be with Robert." Robert backs away as Kelly disses him, saying it would be like "incest." Sharon finally says that Bert is a little funky. "He doesn't smell!" protests Kelly. Sharon says he smells of cigarettes and booze. Kelly bails. More sitting around. Sharon tells Minnie she's been ignoring her, and asks if she's been seeing Bert too. Minnie doesn't know what to say.