The Osbournes
Bye Bye Babies

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Moog Indigo

Back in L.A. Ozzy tries to teach Lola to fetch. Lola lies in the grass, facing away from the ball. Ozzy says that Lola needs to either breathe from her ass, or turn around to face the ball and get it like a normal dog. Nothing. Ozzy wanders away.

England. Jack shows Robert around the house. He says of his bedroom, "It's a time capsule." He shows a cubbyhole where he used to have his bed. "How cool is this?" asks Jack. Robert doesn't think it's very cool at all. Master bedroom. Jack says look how small his parents' bed is compared to the one in L.A. It's huge, by the way. Robert doesn't like the pattern on it. Another room. Robert doesn't like the color. A photo of their first bulldog. "Ugly," declares Robert. Dad's bathroom. "This is, like, fucked up," Robert says about the pull toilet. Jack falls down the stairs. Robert says the carpet is tacky. They're really making Robert look like a little prick. Maybe Sharon saw this footage, and that's why she kicks him out. Jack takes Robert into his dad's "room," which is filled with original gold records. The walls are just lined, man. It's crazy. Robert again says that everything is nice except the carpeting. "Isn't this cool?" says Jack.

Outside. Jack says, "Basically, as far as you can see, we own." Man, I can't say that about anything. Not even my bedroom. Jack says something about how it seems bigger when you're little. They pump in Robert saying, "I don't know about that" from before, which leads me to believe that this whole Robert Disapproves thing is just Boys With Avids creating it. Nice work, guys. Jack says he wishes Lola could see this place.

CUT TO: A static shot of Lola on the floor, her tongue lolling out. Someone steps over her. Hee.

Ozzy's room. He tries to play with his synth. He can't get it. He swears at it, hitting buttons. He decides he needs some carrot cake.

England. Jack calls all his English friends, telling them to come over tonight. "Keep the scene alive!" he says to someone. Jack then calls his mom. She asks if it's cold. Jack says it's going to snow. Jack asks her to play with Lola while he's gone. Sharon says Lola has a new position, where she lies in front of the garage getting sun. Jack lies that he'll call her before he goes to bed. "No riding the bikes drunk, and no guns," she says. Yeah, that's going to happen.

Immediately, tons of friends come over with beer. Jack shows them his guns. They ride ATVs all over the property, drunk. Someone crashes into a tree. Jack's ATV stalls out.

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The Osbournes

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