Jack, lover of drama, walks in and announces he "crashed the car." Kelly gives an overjoyed "You did?" Amanda -- who would like to not be fired right now -- says that it's fine. Jack holds Sharon and says he backed up into another car and knocked something off his car. Sharon asks if he hit someone. Jack says he only hit another car. Kelly reminds Jack that he's so lucky there wasn't someone in the car to call the cops, since Jack was driving without a license. What are the odds that the guy whose car Jack hit watches this show? And he's all, "Hey! That's my car!" We can hear Amanda point out that Jack's got a learner's permit. Sharon asks Jack if the car was in the street. Jack says it was. Sharon relaxes and tells her friend next to her, "Yeah, it's not your car." Jack says he's not doing a very good job at explaining this.
Jack takes an online practice test at DMV.com or whatever. He's stumped on a question concerning when to stop at railroad tracks. Ozzy asks Jack what he's doing. Jack tells him. Riveting television!
Amanda asks Jack how many practice tests he's taken. He's on his third. He's only gotten one wrong. Amanda says they should get his stuff together and "say goodbye to [his] mom." Ominous...
Ozzy tells Jack that all he can do is try. Sharon says that if she can pass a driver's test, than anyone can. Ozzy and Sharon hold their child for the last time. Jack says it's not like he's going to court or anything. Amanda and Thankless Task Man leave with Jack. Sharon tells them to call as soon as Jack passes. Ozzy: "If you don't pass, don't call."
Driving. Flag. DMV. Eye test. Jack is apparently blind. Or he doesn't know how to read. I'm guessing it's the latter.
Miraculously, the examiners let him move on to the written test. I can't believe Amanda and the camera crew can be there. When I had to take my California driver's test, they had me sequestered in a room under camera surveillance. And one day when I was in traffic court (I was in a hit and run), I watched a man on trial for getting caught with a crib sheet for his driver's test. Hee. Busted! So Jack takes his test and the music they play underneath makes it look like we're in a health class and we're watching a tape called How To Take a Test. And not for like, a second. This goes on for minutes. This show doesn't even want to be a show anymore. Jack passes his test with four answers wrong. Amazingly, we watch the entire grading process because what the fuck else were we going to do with our lives -- live?