Here is why Jack needs an assistant: today he must decide the order of studying for the test, practice parallel parking, and then take his driver's test. He cannot make this decision on his own. Because he's richer than you are. It makes the hemispheres of the brain have difficulty in speaking with each other, you see.
And for the next five minutes or so, we watch Jack attempt to parallel-park. Recapping someone driving a car is a lot like drawing someone on the phone. Why would you do that? Who does that help? What essence of American life have you captured? Where is the soul? Where's the comedy? What are we all still doing here? Why am I so broke and Jack has a BMW and an assistant? Why am I working at an hour when Jack's still got at least three more REM cycles to go? So Jack's not so good at parallel parking. So bad, in fact, that he backs into another car. A car that's completely blurred so that we can't call the cops for the driver, since Jack appears only to be concerned for his own car's damages. Amanda, amazingly, says that this wasn't Jack's fault. Jack's car is filthy. Amanda, worst teacher ever, tells Jack that everybody hits something while learning to parallel-park. Usually those things are cones. But I guess that explains why my bumpers have gotten so jacked up since I moved to Los Angeles. I don't know if they just didn't show us or what, but it appears Jack and Amanda have just driven away from the accident without leaving a note. Jack is devastated that a little piece of his car has broken. Like he's going to pay for the repairs.
Jack, lover of drama, walks in and announces he "crashed the car." Kelly gives an overjoyed "You did?" Amanda -- who would like to not be fired right now -- says that it's fine. Jack holds Sharon and says he backed up into another car and knocked something off his car. Sharon asks if he hit someone. Jack says he only hit another car. Kelly reminds Jack that he's so lucky there wasn't someone in the car to call the cops, since Jack was driving without a license. What are the odds that the guy whose car Jack hit watches this show? And he's all, "Hey! That's my car!" We can hear Amanda point out that Jack's got a learner's permit. Sharon asks Jack if the car was in the street. Jack says it was. Sharon relaxes and tells her friend next to her, "Yeah, it's not your car." Jack says he's not doing a very good job at explaining this.
Jack takes an online practice test at DMV.com or whatever. He's stumped on a question concerning when to stop at railroad tracks. Ozzy asks Jack what he's doing. Jack tells him. Riveting television!