Amanda asks Jack how many practice tests he's taken. He's on his third. He's only gotten one wrong. Amanda says they should get his stuff together and "say goodbye to [his] mom." Ominous...
Ozzy tells Jack that all he can do is try. Sharon says that if she can pass a driver's test, than anyone can. Ozzy and Sharon hold their child for the last time. Jack says it's not like he's going to court or anything. Amanda and Thankless Task Man leave with Jack. Sharon tells them to call as soon as Jack passes. Ozzy: "If you don't pass, don't call."
Driving. Flag. DMV. Eye test. Jack is apparently blind. Or he doesn't know how to read. I'm guessing it's the latter.
Miraculously, the examiners let him move on to the written test. I can't believe Amanda and the camera crew can be there. When I had to take my California driver's test, they had me sequestered in a room under camera surveillance. And one day when I was in traffic court (I was in a hit and run), I watched a man on trial for getting caught with a crib sheet for his driver's test. Hee. Busted! So Jack takes his test and the music they play underneath makes it look like we're in a health class and we're watching a tape called How To Take a Test. And not for like, a second. This goes on for minutes. This show doesn't even want to be a show anymore. Jack passes his test with four answers wrong. Amazingly, we watch the entire grading process because what the fuck else were we going to do with our lives -- live?
Oh, my God. There's more. Jack goes for a driver's test. This is just like being at the DMV. I'm BORED. Jack soaks the test lady with windshield-wiper fluid. The editing guys play a little joke when Jack goes to turn on the defroster -- they play Ricky Martin's "She Bangs." Great joke -- three full years ago. Jack can't remember the never-used arm signals. The examiner gets into the car and says she's got to mark all of that off. It appears she knew she was going to be on this show but didn't want to be recognized, so she's in huge sunglasses and a wig. She jokes with Jack that she's nervous: "I don't know if you can drive!" Don't ask Kelly for a second opinion, lady.
Jack drives. And drives. And drives. I'm not going to recap this anymore. You guys -- I'll keep asking this every week until I get an answer: how is this television?
Jack passes. Gospel music plays. Amanda embraces Jack, relieved that she gets to keep her job for another day.
Jack gets his picture taken. Amanda says it's "cute."