The Osbournes
Cleanliness Is Next To Ozzyness

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!

Hospital. Sharon emerges with her staff, happily. She calls Aimee from the car, saying that Aimee has to wait until dinner to hear the news. She says it's exciting news.

Dinner at the house. Lots of people. Sharon explains that her blood work is cancer-free, and she finishes her treatment in January. Everyone cheers.

Office. Ozzy asks Sharon when she's done with the treatments, what is she going to change in her life. Sharon says nothing, that she likes her life. Ozzy presses on, and Sharon starts cleaning something on his face. She says she already changed her diet, and that's what it's about. Ozzy is pressing for something else -- to get her to stop working so fucking much. He says she can't work all the time, that she needs to find some time for herself. She shuts him up like she always does. He changes the subject, knowing it's a losing battle, and asks when they can have sex. "Nine months," she says. There are tons of people around as they have this conversation, as usual, and he says, "Fuck nine months." She says that it's true, that he'll get chemo in him if he has sex with her. Ozzy says he doesn't mind having a glowing cock. Hee. Ozzy says he'll dress Tony (Bitch Boy) up as a woman if he has to. Tony looks over, confused. Goddamn, that's funny. And that's it!

Next time…Sharon and Kelly discuss her birthday plans. She doesn't want a party, but they decide to go to Vegas. Kelly assures someone that she's not going to Vegas to party and drink. Cut to: Vegas. Kelly, with fired drummer Sarah, yells at her mom that it's her fucking birthday! Sharon tells her she's acting like a spoiled brat. "Yes, I'm spoiled," Kelly says, "but I'm not a brat." Ha. Sarah and Kelly fuck around. Sarah strips on some table in front of tons of people. Drunk Sarah falls off the table! Hee. Ozzy and a bunch of people having dinner look over. Kelly and Sarah drunkenly cackle. "I pissed myself," says Kelly. And on that note…

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The Osbournes




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