Kelly tells Bad Nanny that she's going to go out there in a minute. She bitches about how she'd like to have an interview where she's not almost fainting from being so tired because she can never get a night of sleep in this goddamn house. Robert swims in all his clothes, including shoes. Bad Nanny bitches, "What part of 'shut the fuck up' do these children not understand?" The "shut" part. And the "the" part. Also the "fuck" part and the "up" part, too. Bad Nanny, still complaining to her man because she has no recourse to actually deal with the problem itself, bitches that these are guests in people's homes. Sure, but the fucking host has told them how they're allowed to behave. Now Jack is talking to two total fucking losers in matching trucker hats. Seriously, y'all. These dudes are assholes. They look like Wayne and Garth, and not in a good way.
Take trucker hats, by the way. It seems to me that we have so much media these days, there is no way a trend can last more than a year at the most before TV comes along and ruins the trend by playing it out. At least that's my new theory. Discuss.
Bad Nanny and Kelly start yelling from the balcony. Jack tells them to shut up and that it's Friday night, and then he tells Kelly he can't hear what she's saying, and Fake Kid Rock is all, "She's instigating a scene. We're just having a good ol' time." Then he realizes what a douchebag he is, and in a split second his whole narrowly-constructed universe of lies and false coolness comes crashing down on top of him…but then before he loses it forever, he pushes Jack and Robert into the pool and suddenly he can believe the lies again!
Kelly is outside now, talking to some girl whose shirt is so wet that her tits are visible and MTV has to blot them out. Gee. Thanks. Kelly bitches to Titty Girl that Jack's life is not a twenty-four-hour party and he needs to wake up and realize that these people aren't really his friends, they just want to come to Ozzy's house. The girl is like, "Huh? Tee hee." Kelly now confronts Jack about inviting "half of Malibu" over every night. He says it's not every night. She bitches that she can't sleep, and Jack says, "Check it out, Kelly. I don't care." What an asshole. Little creep. Kelly then swings at Jack's face, and Jack does his whole pussy thing of saying, "Hit me!" and cowering at the same time. Bad Nanny is screaming for Dave to come and saying, "No hitting!" Jack and Kelly fall on the ground fighting. Titty Girl whispers from the other side of the garden, waving, "Jack! Bye Jack!" Ha. Bad Nanny tries to get them off each other, and finally David comes and separates them. Titty Girl once again waves, "Jack!" Jack comes up yelling to Kelly, in some weird drunken logic, "What are you getting out of that?" Titty Girl once again, "Jack! I'll call you tomorrow." Hee, with the phone hand gesture and everything. Brilliant. Jack yells, "You're a fucking idiot, Kelly," as Kelly huffs back inside the house. Bad Nanny lets three girls inside, and then makes a face to their backs as they pass.