Jack is lying that she just needs to talk to him when she wants him to stop with the noise, and Kelly calls him "blind, deaf, and retarded." David tries to get them to just talk to each other, but no one listens to him. Robert gets on the intercom again, saying that there is a dwarf who is really fucked up…but he didn't really think this one through very well, so he just hangs up. Jack says, "When was the last time I hit you?" Kelly says that Jack strangled her earlier tonight (no, don't risk fucking up Kelly Osbourne's golden vocal chords!). Jack shows the two cuts on his face and Kelly laughs, "They're tiny, Jack." Jack calls her a bitch, and she says that yes, she's a bitch -- she's tired. Robert on the intercom again. He says the dwarf went over to pet the dog and the dog bit his nose off and he's bleeding everywhere. Hee. I can't believe this fighting is still going on.
Kelly says that she looks in the mirror and she sees "shit," but she deals with it and gets on with her life. She says that Jack looks in the mirror and sees "'I'm Jack. I'm cool and sexy and people like me.' Well, no one fucking likes you," she says. Ooh, shit! That's fucked up. That got him. He starts saying, "Fuck you," as Kelly says, "Good night," knowing she's won. Jack calls her a "low person," and Kid Rock pulls Jack out of there as David is saying he knows they love each other. Jack goes to his room with Kid Rock, lashing out at Bad Nanny now. He says her head is so far up Kelly's ass…she tells him not to be ridiculous, and bails. Jack opens the doors again and yells, "Melinda, you witnessed what she did to me. How fucking normal is that?" Then he opens the door again: "And you did nothing! You did nothing." He slams the door. Then he opens it again. Ha. Melinda is saying she tried to get them apart, but Kelly is eighteen. Jack says Kelly has the mind of a four-year-old. Wow. Jack is really hurt by that last comment of Kelly's. Good job, girl.
Kelly is laughing about how Jack is drunk and bitching about the tiny cuts on his face and how they look like zits anyway. Melinda says Kelly has to learn to channel her violent anger, because one day Jack is going to "clock [her] one." She suggests Kelly tries "arts and crafts" to channel her energy. Ha.
Morning. Sharon and Ozzy arrive home. They go straight for the dogs. Then they find Kelly. Kelly and Bad Nanny make fun of Jack being dramatic about his face. Nice.
Upstairs. Ozzy says there was an 11 PM curfew. Jack ignores that and says he's done caring about Kelly. Ozzy, acting very calm and sober, says that he knows Jack does care about Kelly. Ozzy says that what he's learned is that every second of the day, something happens. Some things you like. Some you don't like. But it's all stuff on the journey back to reality. I'm not sure what the hell Ozzy is talking about, but it sounds wise. He's like Mr. Miyagi on Quaaludes.