Kelly waits behind something in the parking lot of Tower where tons of kids are lined up. Tower is crazy, because they push back all the shelves inside and put up a stage for every in-store, and kids line the streets. Kelly giggles as kids yell to her. Suddenly, she goes super-girlie and giggly at the yelling boys. She camera-talks that she gets really shy when people know her name and she doesn't know how they know. Kelly is outside, being pulled in by bodyguards. Inside the store, she's with her friends. She whines that she hates being touched by the people outside.
Ozzy pulling up. He swears and says how many people there are. "If they don't like the album I'm going to get killed." "Go for it, my darling," Sharon says, pushing him out of the limo. Ozzy walks into the store. Kelly watches. Ozzy smiles, walking past everyone. People yell and give the devil horns with their hands.
Inside, a Tower dude tells Ozzy where to go, and now we get a montage of Ozzy doing photos and signing shit. Ozzy comports himself very well, obviously saving everything for the fans and giving the family the Low-Wattage Ozzy at home, big-time. So the montage Ozzy holding a baby. Ozzy hugging crying truckers. With a dude in a wheelchair. With a chick with a ferret. With a small guy in a Black Crowes t-shirt. What kind of dickhead shows up at an Ozzy in-store wearing a Black Crowes shirt? Ozzy with a lady. With a witch. With a guy. With a huge-boobied lady who asks for an autograph. Ozzy immediately looks to her tits. "Sure." Kelly watching, laughing. Ozzy with a kid. Ozzy with a midget who says that they should jam together sometime. Ozzy ignores him. Ozzy signs a male nipple. Okay, I would draw the line right there. Ozzy with a guy. With a bunch of cops. Ozzy on a throne with a chick in his lap. "It's good to be the king!" he says, suddenly seeming twenty years younger.
Finally he gets back into the limo. "This is the prom of darkness," Sharon says. Ozzy likes that. I'm confused. Ozzy looks very happy and satisfied, but tired. Sharon starts chirping about Minnie being the queen, and immediately Ozzy goes right back to "I fucking hate these limos." The last thing we hear is, "Don't come to New York, just stay here, Sharon."
Now the KROQ studios. The most influential corporate radio station in America, and the studio is a fucking closet. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew greet Ozzy and Sharon, who are there to do Loveline. Ozzy sits down and asks if they're going to talk about sexual intercourse. He says that's why he brought "the wife" -- to tell him what it's like.