Melinda asks Jack why the parents are being called in, and Jack launches into his laundry list of misdeeds. He threw rocks at tents. He threw rocks at kids. He told a counselor (why can't I spell that fucking word right, ever?!) to "go fuck himself." "Oh well," replies Melinda, like the terribly irresponsible nanny she is. "Did you have fun, though?" Oh, I see, she's just more interested and concerned about his general psychic happiness, and not, like, if he's running around taking his spoiled miserableness and inability to relate to the world as a normal human being due to his crazy past as an excuse to be a total jerk to everyone else. Jack says that he did have fun: breaking the rules and getting yelled at. Good job, Jack. (Hey, I still think you're cool and we should totally hang out. I'm just giving you a hard time because I have to appear like I don't condone spoiled behavior, but seriously, I would have totally told counselors [dammit!] to fuck themselves if there was a guarantee of absolutely no parental repercussions, too. Call me!)
The fam. Sharon says that the campers sing by a campfire at night, and Ozzy reacts with horror. Kelly starts to say that even she couldn't take that seriously, but Sharon interrupts her by singing "Kumbaya." (Not the song, just the one word.) Then she asks Kelly what she was saying, and Ozzy interrupts her again with the same one-word version of "Kumbaya." Kelly gives up trying to talk. Hee.
Bad nanny. Jack says that it's like a hippie cult up there.
Sharon tells Ozzy that they stopped at Roy Rogers for food last night. Kelly gets all excited for some reason. Then Sharon asks what the difference was between Roy and Will Rogers. "Who the fuck is Will Rogers?" asks Kelly. "I don't know," says Ozzy. Is there really a difference, when it's all said and done? Commercials.
New segment. "Like Father Like Daughter." Ozzy comes home, holding a dog. He puts the dog down and dodders through the front hall. Sharon follows, saying, "Good morning," to everyone. Melinda lies that she missed them -- that it was lonely around the house without them.