The Osbournes

Episode Report Card
Stee: A | 349 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Kelly Whines. Ozzy Wines.

Now Jack is talking to Ozzy. He bitches that Kelly just started making shit up, like that she found "Delusion" (the band). Puss eats as Sharon leans in and says that she can't sort it out, so Jack and Kelly should just leave each other alone. Meanwhile, in the background, Ozzy goes to sit at his favorite counter, and steps in the water dish! Sharon laughs, leaving the room, as Ozzy bitches about the "fucking dogs" and picks up the water dish and puts it outside. Jack stands by as Ozzy begins cleaning up the water. Puss runs around. Jack helps. Ozzy bitches that he spends "hundreds of thousands of dollars on this place, [he] can't even get a fucking mop." Hee. Then on a different day, obviously, someone (the cat?) knocks over a plant, and Ozzy and Son Ozzy Hates clean it up. "Dad, this way," says SOH as Ozzy carries the plant the other direction. Later, Ozzy climbs the stairs, bitching, "I'm sick to death of living in a fucking dump."

Ozzy sits in the bathroom on the floor by the toilet, reading a rock magazine. He voice-overs that everyone needs a break, and to have your family around you every minute of every day -- sometimes you need some quiet time for yourself.

Now Ozzy watches The History Channel and pets Lola; Sharon stands in the hall telling the kids (and the maid!?) that Ozzy doesn't want the Fam to go back out on tour with him; he'll go alone. "Should we stay and then go to England on Saturday?" asks Sharon. Jack says that they'll miss Ozzy's birthday. Now Ozzy is eating some eggs at his "art table," and Jack goes up to him and asks if he really doesn't want them to meet up for his birthday. Ozzy doesn't even look up, saying no, he'll be on the road and he wants to be on his own. Jack stands there for a minute, but Ozzy doesn't say anything else so Jack pouts off.

Day. The driver carries out Ozzy's bag as Ozzy, dressed in a leather jacket, says goodbye to Melinda, who hasn't bothered to dress (trying to tempt Ozzy with her bathrobe?), and to the dogs. Sharon hugs some random guy (the assistant?). They're gone.

The Osbournes

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