Short bus. Jack drives with someone, talking about a band called Delusion that he found eighteen months ago and they just now have their demo together. Driver says that it's not the album of the century, and Jack hits him, this time waiting only three minutes into the episode before he has some homoerotic pseudo-violent older male contact. The driver nearly rear-ends a car while pulling up to a light. I hate drivers who wait until the last minute to slam on their brakes. I also hate people who don't signal, but that's a different recap. The driver Boston-accents that the band is only recording an EP and they smoke "doobs" and Jack doesn't need to be a part of that. They're now an hour late.
A house in Orange County or something. In the home recording studio, Jack sits around with the band, listening to a cut. The band members all hysterically bob their heads maniacally along with the beat, as if their enthusiasm for their own work will make Jack like it. It doesn't work on me, but it works on Jack as the song ends, and he tells them that it's really good. The band then relaxes and starts picking on Jack, making him say they're the best band he's ever developed. One of them even flicks his face. Hee. Poor Jack. No respect. And the best part is that Jack instantly starts smiling, loving the frat-like old-boy ribbing. It's what he needs. The band brings up the Who Discovered Them, Jack Or Kelly controversy. "Is Kelly here now?" Jack pointedly asks. One of them jokes that Kelly's in the back recording, and then starts singing "Papa Don't Preach." It actually sounds better than Kelly's version.
Kelly and Bad Nanny. Reading more emails. Because Kelly can't read her own email. Some company wants to give Kelly a blue blazer. "Why not?" says Kelly. She gets up, and this crap song "I'm not feeling very well today" plays as Kelly starts yelling, wondering why she can't go into one room in her fucking house and be left alone! She sips tea in the kitchen. Then she yells to Sharon, "I want a fucking break! You haven't been there for all of it, Mom!" Sharon wonders when she wants the break and says she'll get it for her, and Kelly huffs away, obviously only wanting to bitch and not wanting Sharon to actually solve her problem. But that's what girls do. Seriously, hasn't Sharon read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? Maybe she wouldn't have had the falling out with Billy Corgan if she had. Although I think Billy Corgan might be from Mars, Venus, and a little Uranus. (Good night!)