The Osbournes

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | 415 USERS: C+
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Kellys Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

Jack's room. A phone call comes in from one of the band members. Jack talks about needing the CD and the masters, and apparently one of them is balking or something as Jack yells, "What's his fucking problem?" and then hangs up, saying, "Jesus fucking Christ!" Jack already has the language down well. Not this next part: "The fucking guitarist for Delusion is a fucking asshole." But the part where he talks about how he's being very protective over the CD demo and not wanting people to hear it, and then especially "the guitarist is a problem," which means, "I'm going to try to get Sharon to Sarah him out of there."

New York. Recording studio. Uh, Kelly sings. It sounds, uh, well…I just hope her engineer is good with the Pro Tools. Afterwards, she says she didn't know she could sing that high. She jokes that it's all the screaming she did as a kid. What does she mean, "as a kid"?

Montage. Kelly gets driven around and gets her hair done. A photo shoot. She wears devil horns. She says she feels like a retard doing some hip movement. She poses with Mandy Moore. Mandy Moore's tan is out of control, by the way. Someone needs to get an umbrella on that girl. Another shoot. She poses with a skull. She lipsticks stuff onto a mirror and the dude tells her that the magazine won't like it. She leaves a shoot to yell, "I'm going to fucking kill myself!" Hee.

Home. Sharon takes a call from Kelly. Gay Gramps is there with her. Sharon calls Kelly either "Tarts" or "Tots." They're both kinda insulting, and both kinda true. After the call, she says, "That was a call to say everybody can have the money back. She doesn't want to do anything anymore." Hee.

New York. More make-up. Kelly gets into a limo, complaining that things are disorganized. "I hate going to things like this," she brats to Bad Nanny. Yeah, limos are stupid! Bad Nanny, despite the constant abuse, has a pretty fucking sweet gig.

The Osbournes

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