Los Angeles. Williams-Sonoma. Ozzy shops with Bitch Boy, wearing a long Matrix coat. Ozzy, not Bitch Boy. Bitch Boy would look really goofy in that. Bitch Boy says they need to get a tin opener, and Ozzy says the thing they have now drives him fucking mental. They buy openers and tons of wooden spoons and cutting boards. Ozzy takes everything up to the register it's over one thousand dollars! Holy shit! I guess when you have so much money that you have to sit there and fucking arrange it into piles of hundreds, you can afford to go nuts with some cookware.
In the car, Ozzy turns the radio on. They play the Sean Paul song. He turns the radio off and then tells Bitch Boy that he can't get the tune out of his head. He says it's a great song, but they play it all the time. Boys With Avids having some fun again he's totally talking about a different song, obviously. At least let's hope.
Home. Ozzy sharpens his new knives as a maid looks on. Ozzy smiles like a little kid as Bitch Boy compliments how sharp he got the knives. Ozzy says he'll do the fish on the grill, and then goes outside and talks about the song he can't get out of his head. He goes on about it and how it's driving him mad. They pipe in the Sean Paul song, and Ozzy crosses his arms and stares into the distance. Bitch Boy bitches that this is a million-dollar kitchen and he can't find a pan. He opens the dishwasher, and the steam comes out. Then he opens the other dishwasher and the steam hits him and water pours out. Ozzy yells at him, "What are you, Irish or something?" Bitch Boy says that back home the dishwashers close when you open them. Yeah, but not if there is tons of water in it and you give it no warning. I think it has to be said here: two dishwashers?! Holy shit, that's just wrong. I mean, I would love to have it but it seems wrong. I wonder if anyone has three? You know who has three? That McG guy. I bet McG has three dishwashers. Ozzy tells Bitch Boy how much he loves having the house to himself with the peace and quiet.
CUT TO: Kelly and Bad Nanny sitting in the hotel room. Bad Nanny sings about how she's pregnant, and Kelly throws something at her. Bad Nanny whines, "Ow!" and Kelly tells her to give the pregnancy thing a fucking rest. "Fuck being pregnant, Melinda," Kelly says. She turns to Bad Nanny and says that your vagina hole is this big, "Normally, when you pee." Ow! Kelly thinks babies come from your urethra? Ha. Girl needs a copy of Vaginas For Dummies. Actually, so do a lot of people I know. Bad Nanny says that it's natural and then says she's calling a child psychologist for Kelly. They fight some more. Bad Nanny, with her haircut, looks exactly like Michael McKean in This is Spinal Tap. Holy shit, that's freaking me out now. Look away! Bad Nanny once again bitches that she's pregnant and Kelly says, "Melinda, you're like two days pregnant." Man, Kelly really doesn't know anything about pregnancy, does she? Commercials.









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