Kitchen. Ozzy washes tomatoes. Robert comes in. "Hi, Rob. I'm making a salad," he says. Now this has to be just more Boys With Avid bullshit, because they cut it to seem like Robert doesn't react and Ozzy is left just standing there going, "Rob." A little dog starts scratching a pillow, trying to open it up. Lola lies in Ozzy's way, and Ozzy starts talking about how they're all trying to kill him ever since he started bat-biting…the animal history books have him listed as the bad guy. "Animal karma," he says. Then he says he hates the taste of salad.
Ozzy calls Bitch Boy on the phone. Where is he? Why isn't he there? Ozzy says that the family is in New York and the peace has been great. Then the Boys With Avids make him say, "I'm bored."
Sharon gets make-up done by the dude. Bad Nanny is still talking. She babbles about how she wants some curry, and Sharon and the make-up dude say they can't eat curry. Bad Nanny loves it and has curry 15 times a week. No you don't. Sharon says she needs one of those turbans to wrap around her ass after she eats it because she gets so sick. Bad Nanny says that Ozzy always tells her she smells like an Indian wrestler's jockstrap. No he doesn't. Bad Nanny is such a liar. I bet she's not even pregnant. Sharon then tells a story about how some lady told Sharon that Ozzy comes in every week to the religious sex shop and buys underwear. Sharon laughs, but then says she thought, maybe he does go in every week. Good story, Sharon.
Los Angeles. Williams-Sonoma. Ozzy shops with Bitch Boy, wearing a long Matrix coat. Ozzy, not Bitch Boy. Bitch Boy would look really goofy in that. Bitch Boy says they need to get a tin opener, and Ozzy says the thing they have now drives him fucking mental. They buy openers and tons of wooden spoons and cutting boards. Ozzy takes everything up to the register…it's over one thousand dollars! Holy shit! I guess when you have so much money that you have to sit there and fucking arrange it into piles of hundreds, you can afford to go nuts with some cookware.
In the car, Ozzy turns the radio on. They play the Sean Paul song. He turns the radio off and then tells Bitch Boy that he can't get the tune out of his head. He says it's a great song, but they play it all the time. Boys With Avids having some fun again…he's totally talking about a different song, obviously. At least let's hope.
Home. Ozzy sharpens his new knives as a maid looks on. Ozzy smiles like a little kid as Bitch Boy compliments how sharp he got the knives. Ozzy says he'll do the fish on the grill, and then goes outside and talks about the song he can't get out of his head. He goes on about it and how it's driving him mad. They pipe in the Sean Paul song, and Ozzy crosses his arms and stares into the distance. Bitch Boy bitches that this is a million-dollar kitchen and he can't find a pan. He opens the dishwasher, and the steam comes out. Then he opens the other dishwasher and the steam hits him and water pours out. Ozzy yells at him, "What are you, Irish or something?" Bitch Boy says that back home the dishwashers close when you open them. Yeah, but not if there is tons of water in it and you give it no warning. I think it has to be said here: two dishwashers?! Holy shit, that's just wrong. I mean, I would love to have it…but it seems wrong. I wonder if anyone has three? You know who has three? That McG guy. I bet McG has three dishwashers. Ozzy tells Bitch Boy how much he loves having the house to himself with the peace and quiet.