The Osbournes

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | 336 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
More Anal Rape Than Oz

House. Jack proudly shows Ozzy one of Dill's skate videos. Dill crashes and shows the camera his twisted, broken finger. "Oh my God!" says Ozzy, trippin'. Jack says that he's a good fucking skater. Ozzy just says that he's "nuts." Jack laughs when Dill's ankle snaps. Ozzy looks freaked.

Hospital. Sharon undergoes chemo and takes a meeting with Kelly's Handler (Bobby) at the same time. What a fucking superstar, that woman. They discuss Sarah, Bobby saying that Sarah hadn't practiced anything, that she didn't have sticks, and that she kept missing fills and really basic stuff. He jokes that the Energizer Bunny could have given her a run for her money. Hee, banging on the cymbals. I get it. Bobby laughs about how Kelly told Sarah that "it wasn't the drums." Sharon just looks away.

House. Night. Jack talks on the phone while Ozzy watches the dogs fight. He and Jack talk about how they live in the Beverly Hills lunatic asylum, and Jack says it's better than the dog pound. Ozzy mutters some shit that even the captioners give up on about Tarzan and bullshit, and then Dill arrives. Ozzy asks Jack if Dill has lice, and Jack mutters an excuse. Ozzy teases Jack that he should be running out front to greet him, and says some other stuff I can't understand at all, and Jack tells his dad to stop. He says it's not very nice, and he doesn't talk about Ozzy's friends. Ozzy then mutters, "I don't got no friends." Hee. And: Aw.

Jack watches Dill get out of a "ghetto cab." They hug, and Dill mutters about how the cab driver knew about Outkast, and then they go out back to find Marcato (Robert) and others. Dill tells us that he'll be in the area for fourteen days. Robert tries to talk to him, to find out what he's been doing, and Dill just says he's been skating and doing the same bullshit, and that it's been "awesome." Robert doesn't know what to say. It's like, "Um, great. My mom just died. Why don't you ask me about me, you stupid shaggy fuck." But he's too nice to say that, so I'll just say it for him.

Montage of Dill. "Welcome Back, Kotter" plays as Dill smokes. Burps. Falls down drunk. Waves to Ozzy. Scratches his hair. Hugs Sharon. Says, "It's been fucking awesome." Smokes. Pees. You get the picture.

The Osbournes

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP