Dressing room. Sharon and Bad Nanny try to convince Jack to get his eyebrows done. Sharon says that Jack looks like a "fucking Persian carpet salesman with those eyebrows." Oh my God. That's both critical and mildly racist in one shot. Good show, Sharon. Sharon goes on, asking Jack if he takes any pride in his appearance, saying that he's got "the biggest unibrow in the world." No, that would be Bill Berry, the former drummer of REM. Jack says he'll do it later.
Kelly and Sarah. Kelly makes Sarah smell her armpit, saying she's got to take a shower. Sarah agrees that Kelly smells "a little bit peachy." I guess if you're friends with one of the Osbourne kids and you get all the perks that come with that, having to smell their armpits every once in a while is a small price to pay. Jack comes in. Sarah says, "Hey, Holmes." Hee. Jack introduces his friend Angelina. She's a ditzy-looking blonde, way too old for him to be hanging around with. Kelly quickly ignores her, trying to make Jack smell her armpit -- "If you love me." Hey HBO, obviously not all weirdly sexual jealousy-based sibling power plays are on Six Feet Under. Sarah holds up her arm. Jack says, "I'll slap your armpit and hurt your gland." Hee.
Kitchen. Angelina is vigorously scratching a dog's stomach, displaying a strong forearm -- no doubt the result of a long history of giving hand jobs. Kelly asks Angelina if she's a Mormon. Kelly says her boyfriend's a Mormon. "I know," whispers Angelina. Jack jokes that Mormons are "perfect people." Kelly counters that nobody's perfect. Jack says that Mormons are. Angelina rolls her eyes. Man, her "rolling her eyes in disdain" muscles are almost as built up as her "giving hand jobs indiscriminately" muscles are. Almost.
Outside. Kelly bitches to Sarah about Angelina, saying she wouldn't even answer when Kelly asked what she did and that she's twenty, and, says Kelly, she's a Mormon, and Mormons are supposed to be raised better than that.
They continue bitching, now in a new locale. Kelly says that Angelina is Jack's friend's ex-girlfriend, and that it's shady of him. Sarah says that Jack has a history with "leftovers." She brings up "that fucking other chick." Wow. Jack is sixteen and he's pulling twenty-year-old girls. Seriously. That's fucking huge. God. Gold-diggers start early in this town, huh?