Sharon drives off, wearing a tiara. She arrives in her giant holding room at the Beverly Hills Hotel as they get the big room ready. Sharon marvels over flowers and then marvels over a food basket. She's very excited. Bitch Boy says he has to get back and get Ozzy ready. We see Ozzy sitting at the house in his bathrobe, in kind of a stupor. "He hates coming out of his fucking house," says Sharon. He doesn't think he's going to know anyone. "You know everyone," says Sharon. Sharon is all dressed up and made up, on her father's tuxedoed arm. She looks good.
More preparations. Workers light candles. Guests arrive. Hey, there's Rob Zombie! Ozzy arrives, saying he's not drinking, that he's got to be on his best behavior today. Cut to: Ozzy sitting in a back room, drinking. Hee.
Ozzy talks to the rabbi. Ozzy is nervous. The rabbi leads him through what's going to happen, telling him that he just has to say, "I do." "But I don't," says Ozzy. They both have a laugh. Ozzy is drunk already.
Sharon jokes that maybe she'll say, "I don't." Wow. That's "freaky."
Ozzy drinks with the rabbi. "You're my kind of rabbi," says Ozzy. They just reverse the shot of Ozzy drinking from before, trying to make it look like he's drinking again. That's dishonest, MTV. Bastards.
Ceremony. Sharon has to pee. Ozzy has to pee. "Let's get a cup," says Jack. Ozzy and Jack, laughing, walk out to the altar. The crowd, in the gorgeous room, laughs and claps. Violins play Ozzy music. It's very pretty, actually. Sharon walks down the aisle with her dad. They take the stage. Ozzy is shaking. The rabbi says that wine is a symbol of joy. "I knew it," says Ozzy. The crowd laughs. The rabbi does ceremony stuff about wine. Ozzy takes a sip. More schtick. "Save some for Sharon," says the rabbi. They both drink. "Enough, you alcoholic," says Ozzy. Ozzy says, "I do." Sharon says, "I do. Forever." Kelly looks pretty but bitchy. Sharon starts reading some additional sweet words. Ozzy is shaking and close to tears behind his sunglasses. They laugh and hug. The rabbi does his final words and pronounces them "once again" husband and wife. They kiss. The music plays. The people clap. The rabbi gives them glasses to step on. They do. "Mazel tov!" They walk back down the aisle.