The Osbournes

Episode Report Card
Stee: A | 283 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Dill Hole

Here comes Ozzy in his bathrobe. Hee. Ozzy mumbles to Sharon. Sharon bitches that the kids, who are hiding in the other room, woke her up. She adds, for no reason, that Aimee is home. Ozzy says that it has to stop.

Up in Jack's room, Kelly bitches that the folks said, when they moved into the new house, that they could have tons of friends over whenever. Jack says that Dill is allowed over because he's his roommate. (Aw, so sad, Jack's love all open and gooey.) Jason blathers, "Your mom respects my opinion, though." Hee.

There's Aimee for a second...and then she's gone. Sharon bitches that she's not going to pick up warm turds. Ew. Ozzy, eating a chicken bone, says that the reason Lola chews everything is that she doesn't get enough attention. (Oh, they're saying "he," so I guess it's not Lola.) Sharon complains about her rugs getting soiled, and Ozzy turns to the camera and tells us that you don't get a pet for five minutes, you get it for life. You go, Ozzy. Speak the truth, funny man. Sharon says the dog shits there because there is a mirror and he can watch himself shit. Hee.

Jack's room. Jason says he's going to smoke a cigarette. Meanwhile, Sharon finds a bottle of Jack Daniels and what I think is a joint. Sharon says she's going to pee in the bottle and goes into the bathroom. Kelly screams and the dogs start barking and Kelly forces herself into the bathroom. They yell and scream. "Grow up!" and "That's disgusting!" Kelly emerges and throws the bottle away. Sharon comes out, wiping pee off her hands, and calls Kelly a Drama Queen. Kelly says it's "disturbing and disgusting." Jason wanders back in and asks what's going on. They keep talking and Sharon tells Jason he has mud on his shoe and he has to clean it off. Kelly tells Sharon that it's like the time she found Ozzy's bag of weed in Hawaii and she pissed in it. Ew. Jason then figures that she's found the Jack Daniels and he asks if she put apple juice in it. Sharon tells him, with a straight face, that she was trying to piss in it.

Gym. Ozzy works out, biking and listening to rock music. He's wearing a shirt that reads, "Hippie Killer." Hee. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Jason half-ass washes dishes and says that he likes cooking here because there is such nice stuff to cook with. He then says that he lit a timer on fire.

The Osbournes

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