Upstairs. Railing. Sharon demonstrates how she can put her leg up on the railing, and then walks away. Ozzy tries it, and then can't get down. "I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm permanently here, Sharon. I ain't fucking joking."
Jack and crew get Ozzy to come downstairs early, making him come outside and look up at the sky. Jack is eating cereal with some tiny sixty-pound blonde ho. Nice work, Jack. They look up to the sky where a skywriter is writing, "Ozzy." Ozzy looks at it and then declares, "It's crap!" He complains it's too far up in the sky. Goddamn, that's funny. Everyone yells at him, saying they'd love it if it was their name and how great to have your name written five miles up in the sky, and Sharon just stares at him and calls him a "miserable old fuck. I'm going to make him write 54 now," she says. Suddenly Ozzy is enjoying it and he says, "Ah, Sharon. That's so beautiful," and goes to kiss her. Bitch Boy reveals his deep lack of funny as he says, "He's going to crash now." Jack then brags that he has real fireworks for tonight. "Whoa," says Ozzy.
Ozzy sits in the living room as Sharon asks him if he saw the cake Larry King brought him. What a fucking surreal statement. They ask if he wants cake, and he says that of course he wants cake, but he's training. Now some dude brings in a cake (Larry King's?) and opens it. It's great, with a gigantic bat on it. Ozzy says he loves it. Sharon tells him he can't have a piece yet.
Night. Dinner. Everyone cheers for Ozzy. He badly blows out the candles on another cake. Son Ozzy Hates is there too. That's so nice that they allow him to come to the house once a year. Suddenly, a dog fight erupts under the table and there is screaming, and Sharon climbs under there, and some blonde pulls up one of the dogs and says that they don't like "new baby." Great. They have a new dog? Good idea. The woman looks exactly like Jenna Elfman, minus the Scientology and plus huge bags under her eyes. Ozzy is now under the table. I wonder if he knows why he's under there.