Jack's friends come over, including a dark-haired Mandy Moore. They fuck around in his room drinking beer. Jack shows Mandy his "Jack" belt buckle. They goof around drinking beer as Mandy smiles coyly at Jack, showing way too much cleavage. (For all those Walk to Remember fans, don't worry: underage God-loving little Mandy isn't drinking. You can all relax now.) Mandy calls a piece of art on Jack's wall, "Frickin' rad." Then she embarrasses him by calling him "so cute" in a photo from when he was thirteen. Waaaaaay back when. Jack leads Mandy down the stairs. "Call me tomorrow," she says. "I will," says Jack. OOOOOOOOOooooh. Yeah. That's right. God, to be a famous, rich kid in Hollywood. The fucking life, yo.
The clock. It's 3 AM. Uh-oh. Here comes Kelly, led by Robert, drunk off her ass, laughing. She falls down, almost crushing a barking dog. Sharon and Ozzy sleep upstairs. Kelly yells her ass off. "You're just as drunk as I am. Don't pretend not to be!" yells Kelly like a moron. Ozzy, wearing bikini briefs, starts down the stairs, mumbling about how this madhouse is driving him crazy. Hee. Commercials.
Ozzy works out, singing along to Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It?" Hee.
Marching music. Giant Trainer busts into Jack's room and tries to wake him up. (A huge muscled man suddenly standing over Jack's bed touching him it's like a thousand dreams he's had.) Giant Trainer asks if Jack stayed out late last night. Giant Trainer tries to get him to have some water and get on the treadmill. Jack has a splitting headache. Giant Trainer says that's what they recommend for that. Jack says that he has an answer for everything. Jack jokes that his legs were just cut off in a car wreck, and Giant Trainer yes-ands, saying that he should just work upper body, then.
Living room. Giant Trainer announces to the Ozzy and BitchBoy that Jack has "party-itis." Ozzy says that Jack shouldn't be hanging in bars until he's twenty-one anyway and that he's full of shit, and the incredibly even-keeled Giant Trainer says that at least Jack isn't "fooling" him, which means that he, along with Ozzy, has absolutely no control over Jack. Giant Trainer says that Jack is an "independent guy," so he can't get on him too much or he'll send him packing too. Ah. I see. Giant Trainer just doesn't want to lose his job. But, then, what exactly is his job? And why does Jack have control over it? It's all very confusing at the Osbourne household. Ozzy says Giant Trainer should just show up with a mask and a whip. I get the feeling Jack might actually like that.