Sharon says goodbye to Gramps, closing the door. She says, "You fucking piece of shit," joking, I hope.
Big family dinner with random friends there too. Formal dinner while bemused staff wait on them. Sharon talks about some bully who Sharon had to yell at to leave Kelly alone. Kelly says that he used to masturbate on the back of the bus with porno mags. They reminisce about a housekeeper with big gold teeth. Sharon says she looked like Master P with an apron on. Goddamn, that's funny. It's also very funny that the captioners thought it was "masturbating with an apron on." But then again, why wouldn't they? This is The Osbournes, after all. "There's a fly in there," says Ozzy, pointing. People wave it away and then Ozzy, doing schtick, hits himself in the head. He then gets up saying he's going to eat a burrito. (Even though they obviously just dubbed that in for a joke, it's still funny.)
Kitchen. Sharon asks Ozzy how many days he's been on the burrito diet now? Ozzy says he's turning fucking Mexican. He holds out a burrito, saying that this is the last one. "End." And that's it.
Next time on Kelly holds band auditions. Ozzy says that drummers are weird people as a blonde chick says she's never taken lessons. She auditions and then afterwards says, "So, I don't know how to play the drums." Hee. In the garden, one of the dogs is humping one of the cats. "Arthur butt-raped Gus's ass!" says Jack. Hee. Gus looks very mellow during all of this, too. Afterwards, Sharon stares at Gus. "You can tell he's been sexually abused," she says. Jack informs Ozzy that Dill is coming to stay again. "No he's not," hopes Ozzy. Dill says he's staying for about fourteen days. Ozzy asks Jack if Dill has lice. Dill Montage. Dill calls himself a "total fucking scumbag who does nothing." Skateboard videos of Dill. Out in the garage, Jack and Dill, shirtless, wrestle. Holy shit, that's even gayer than jumping off a pier just because a bunch of hunky surfer boys told you too. Mandy! You've got to come help Jack out. Quick!